My thoughts have been reeling with the adventures of the past couple of months. Angela decided, since it was offered to the 6th graders for the first time ever, to forgo soccer this fall and instead run cross-country.
In all honestly, I had 2 distinct thoughts cross my mind. "You're going to suck at it" and "I'm so glad you're 'mixing' your sports up."
The former: She's a sprinter. I was a sprinter. Super fast. And typically, you're either fast at short distances or fast at long distances. Not both. And I sucked at long distances. So I figured she was going to suck, too.
The later: I think, even if you have a passion for a certain sport, "mixing it up" is about the best thing you can do for your preferred sport. "Cross-training." I loved hearing that the national women's soccer team, for the most part, all participated in a NUMBER of different sports and they totally encouraged it. It was my understanding of "passing the ball" and "getting open for a pass" in basketball that totally prepared me for soccer. Plus, it fuels the hunger for your sport by not burning you out. Not to mention overuse injury.
As a little tid-bit, Abby Wambach, whom I totally idolize in an almost unhealthy way, said that her timing for her diving headers came from playing forward in basketball.
Anyways, I was glad to see that Ange wanted to try another sport and just play soccer in the Spring. Cool by me.
And because I totally sucked at cross-country, I was prepared with an entire novel full of the "silver linings" as why to continue on with cross-country even though you suck that I'd share with Ange.
When I picked her up from practice I braced myself as I asked her "how it went."
"It was cool. Only 3 people can beat me."
"You mean only 3 girls in the 6th grade?"
"No, the entire team."
(The entire team is 6th-8th, boys and girls.)
Of course I interpreted this as: You obviously didn't understand the coach's course instructions and naively cut the course. Or simply, "You obviously didn't finish what you were supposed to run."
But I didn't correct her. I just let her believe that only 3 people could beat her.
I couldn't make her first race and when she came home with her 1st place medal, I kinda scratched my head.
Come to find out, she really is a fast little buggar. If it's a 6th grade only race, she always wins, with quite the gap between herself and 2nd. If it's 6th-8th, she'll come in 4th up to 2nd, depending on which schools are running.
It's so weird for me, someone who totally sucked at cross-country, to see something I birthed run so strongly in a distance competition. It's almost surreal.
The cool thing about Ange is, it doesn't go to her head. And the opposite is true. If she loses a game or is on a losing team, it also doesn't "go to her head." She enjoys sports, no matter how she does. Always. Has.
Which brings me to the real purpose of this post. "What I would have told Ange had she 'sucked' at cross-country."
X-Country really and truly is a beautiful sport. I find myself tearing up as I watch the runners force themselves through the chute, sucking wind, on the verge of puking. I love seeing the kids push themselves to the limit. And I love seeing EVERYONE clapping and cheering them ALL on. From the 1st to the last. It's so emotional for me.
My experience in the sport is drastically different not only from my daughter's, but from any sport I've ever done. I've experienced at least SOME level of success in my sports, from track to basketball, to racquetball to soccer. Cross-country? Complete disappointment, complete failure, even alienation. My high school coach, Rip Wagner, HATED me. And he didn't hide it either. I was the reason he didn't have TWO European Championship teams. (The guys team in my high school won and the girls team could have won as the first 5 girls were all super strong runners, taking the top 5 or 10 spots easily in races. Then in waddled me. 2nd from the end. Ruining all chances of our team every doing anything cool at the championship level.)
Yes, I hated it. But quitting was never an option. Because for some strange reason, I STILL felt some weird sort of satisfaction simply crossing the finish line.
And because of that, cross-country taught me so many life lessons. Because of that, x-country really is a beautiful sport.
Sometimes life really does get so hard. Sometimes the choices you make, especially the RIGHT choices, tend to be some of the HARDEST to follow through. But just because something is hard, or even just because you honestly feel like you're FAILING, doesn't mean you give up. Serving a mission in Brazil was, at the time, one of the hardest things I had ever done. But going home was never even on my radar. I HAD to cross that finish line. When I returned from my mission and found myself, 3 years later, about as single as a rat in a snake pit, the temptation to "give up on finding Mr. Perfect" and simply "settling for whomever wanted me" definitely lurked in the dark corners of my mind. Especially when my mom started referring to me as a "Spinster." But thankfully I didn't give up on myself and eventually DID find my Mr. Perfect.
Being a mother? Not a walk in the park. This stuff is HARD work. At times I sincerely do feel defeated. I have felt like I'm wasting my time. I have even felt, 'maybe being a mom really isn't as important as I'm told.' But then I remind myself that getting down on myself is part of the experience and the other part is holding my head high, shouldering through the doubts and naysayers, ignoring the Rip Wagners, and keeping my eyes on that finish line.
And just because, by comparison, you may THINK you suck at something, really, YOU DON'T. Comparing myself to the other runners on my team, one could easily say, "you suck at running" simply because they "beat" me. But what else went on? I'd have to say, I'm a champion at pacing myself because I didn't die on the course. I'm a champion at ignoring negative comments and simply 'doing my thang' because I didn't let my coach's negative behavior towards me deter me from running. I'm a champion at finding satisfaction in other things besides winning.
These are the things I was prepared to share with Angela had she become frustrated with her xc experience. I never want my kids to quit a sport or to not try out for a sport simply because they "suck" at it. Winning truly is not everything. In my opinion, it's the least of everything. I was having a conversation once and she said, "she quit volleyball because she just couldn't do it well. I don't blame her. Nothing's fun if you can't do it well."
So. Terribly. Not. True.
“Anyone who imagines that bliss is normal is going to waste a lot of time running around shouting that he’s been robbed. The fact is that most putts don’t drop, most beef is tough, most children grow up to just be people, most successful marriages require a high degree of mutual toleration, most jobs are more often dull than otherwise. Life is like an old time rail journey…delays…sidetracks, smoke, dust, cinders and jolts, interspersed only occasionally by beautiful vistas and thrilling burst of speed. The trick is to thank the Lord for letting you have the ride.”
Sometimes life really isn't great. Sometimes it can be down right hard. Many times you may feel completely defeated. Maybe even totally alone. The trick really and truly is, to put your right foot down and kick up that left heel. Doing so, you will move forward and eventually, you will cross that finish line and when you do, and you think back on that course, and you find yourself conqueror of that course, ... then comes the exhilaration, then comes the contentment, then comes the satisfaction and even the boost in self esteem and confidence to move on as a better you.
I am so happy that my daughter found success in her 1st cross-country season. At the same time, I'm confident that even if she wasn't a strong runner, she would still run. She told me, "Whenever I feel like stopping cuz I'm tired, I tell myself, 'Quitters never win and winners never quit', and Mom, I'm NOT a quitter!"
See, x-country really is a beautiful sport!
Monday, October 12, 2015
Thursday, July 23, 2015
Finally! A much needed tender mercy!
Ever since we moved here to ID, I've been struggling more with "churchy" things than anything else. I feel like the basic Gospel of Jesus Christ is pretty simple and liberating even, but then what happens? Well meaning people have to screw it all up. And I find myself struggling huge with it. More than I should.
It's not just Idaho people either. People in my past, family, snippets on FB, etc. So I find myself having quiet conversations with Heavenly Father, basically trying to sort my own spiritual feelings out. And lately, I just haven't felt Heavenly Father close. Like, the heavens are far, cold, quiet and empty.
I've also been really struggling with our financial situation. I was born into poverty and never have I had a SINGLE. DAY. IN. MY. LIFE where money, or rather the lack there of, wasn't a stress. I'm 41 and it continues and frankly, I don't see an end. My dad got his first job my sophomore year in high school. Teachers would send me home with clothes because they felt so bad for me. When I went to college, I worked at the MTC cafeteria ... well, really, what college student has money? My entire 15 years of marriage have been supporting Matt through school, so no income which has resulted in quite the amount of debt. It will take a miracle to get us on our feet financially. I believe in miracles, but just recently it just hit me that most likely, financial burden will be my burden through life.
And I'd find myself having quiet conversations with Heavenly Father, basically trying to sort THOSE feelings out. And lately, I just haven't felt Heavenly Father close. Like, the heavens are far, cold, quiet and empty.
We went to the temple a few weeks ago. That for me was the 1st time in about 2 plus years. I was actually really looking forward to it. I wanted to feel Heavenly Father close. I wanted to feel some relief from my struggles. Hoping to get answers or at the minimum, comfort. And once again, yes, even there in the temple, I felt the heavens far away, cold, quiet, and empty.
I've actually never had an *amazing experience at the temple. I find myself getting more and more frustrated when I hear people tell stories about their experiences at the temple. They all sound the same, and all so foreign to me. Don't get me wrong, I know it's a great place to be, but I wasn't super surprised that I had the experience I had a few weeks ago in the Boise temple.
*I'm not saying I've never gotten answers to my prayers. Yes, I have. So vivid that there is zero doubt in my mind that God hears and answers prayers. All I'm saying is I have never gotten an answer while sitting and pondering and praying in the temple. Not a reason to stop going of course, just saying I go, when I go, because I know it's the right thing to do.
Back to the point of this post. I just found myself getting more and more overwhelmed, frustrated, and yes, even a bit angry.
Last night I told Matt I was going to the room for quiet so I could read the scriptures. I was having a particularly hard day regarding finances and even jokingly said, "I'm going to find out what we need to do to not be poor!" as I walked into the room with the scriptures. I had a quick thought rush through my head, "Let tomorrow take care of itself. Carry not purse or script because I will take care of you. The lilies toil not yet are adorned more beautifully than the temples of Solomon."
I dismissed the thought, telling myself, "Quit trying to be so cheesy positive with those cheesy positive Mormony thoughts!" I hate cheesy crap.
Then I laid on the bed and did my "random opening" of the scriptures and got comfortable. If I fell asleep, more power to me! :)
I opened up to D&C section 84 and started reading. Just cuz that's where I opened to. As I read, I have to admit, I got emotional, my heart started pounding, and my entire being felt a huge amount of gratitude towards Heavenly Father. I couldn't believe it! Read it if you're reading this so you can see what I'm talking about! https://www.lds.org/scriptures/dc-testament/dc/84?lang=eng
I have to admit, I did skip to verse 43 cuz I'm adhd.
Not only did I get the answers I was looking for when we went to the temple, I got the comfort I needed and this huge amount of understanding in just a flash of a second. I RE-EXPERIENED Heavenly Father's love for me, was reminded that He is aware of me, and suddenly felt the burden of our insanely pathetic financial situation lifted. I don't have answers to HOW things will financially get better, but I was given a huge reminder to simply TRUST in Heavenly Father.
Regarding my struggles with the Gospel vs people. The section was great! It was all about missionary work and for me, it was as if Heavenly Father were saying to me, "Don't worry about all that. Just be a missionary. And to be a missionary, just be a good you, the best you, be a good friend and example."
I didn't feel like I needed to go on splits with the missionaries. I didn't feel like I needed to start running around bearing my testibalogne to everyone I saw. I just had this happy feeling that all I needed to do was to be a happier, positive and better me. And I really felt like Heavenly Father would take care of things. All things.
He has in the past. And I guess it's safe to say that last night, I was reminded that "His helping me" has not run out. Will not run out.
I really needed that experience last night. He sure is aware of our needs. Really and truly aware.
It's not just Idaho people either. People in my past, family, snippets on FB, etc. So I find myself having quiet conversations with Heavenly Father, basically trying to sort my own spiritual feelings out. And lately, I just haven't felt Heavenly Father close. Like, the heavens are far, cold, quiet and empty.
I've also been really struggling with our financial situation. I was born into poverty and never have I had a SINGLE. DAY. IN. MY. LIFE where money, or rather the lack there of, wasn't a stress. I'm 41 and it continues and frankly, I don't see an end. My dad got his first job my sophomore year in high school. Teachers would send me home with clothes because they felt so bad for me. When I went to college, I worked at the MTC cafeteria ... well, really, what college student has money? My entire 15 years of marriage have been supporting Matt through school, so no income which has resulted in quite the amount of debt. It will take a miracle to get us on our feet financially. I believe in miracles, but just recently it just hit me that most likely, financial burden will be my burden through life.
And I'd find myself having quiet conversations with Heavenly Father, basically trying to sort THOSE feelings out. And lately, I just haven't felt Heavenly Father close. Like, the heavens are far, cold, quiet and empty.
We went to the temple a few weeks ago. That for me was the 1st time in about 2 plus years. I was actually really looking forward to it. I wanted to feel Heavenly Father close. I wanted to feel some relief from my struggles. Hoping to get answers or at the minimum, comfort. And once again, yes, even there in the temple, I felt the heavens far away, cold, quiet, and empty.
I've actually never had an *amazing experience at the temple. I find myself getting more and more frustrated when I hear people tell stories about their experiences at the temple. They all sound the same, and all so foreign to me. Don't get me wrong, I know it's a great place to be, but I wasn't super surprised that I had the experience I had a few weeks ago in the Boise temple.
*I'm not saying I've never gotten answers to my prayers. Yes, I have. So vivid that there is zero doubt in my mind that God hears and answers prayers. All I'm saying is I have never gotten an answer while sitting and pondering and praying in the temple. Not a reason to stop going of course, just saying I go, when I go, because I know it's the right thing to do.
Back to the point of this post. I just found myself getting more and more overwhelmed, frustrated, and yes, even a bit angry.
Last night I told Matt I was going to the room for quiet so I could read the scriptures. I was having a particularly hard day regarding finances and even jokingly said, "I'm going to find out what we need to do to not be poor!" as I walked into the room with the scriptures. I had a quick thought rush through my head, "Let tomorrow take care of itself. Carry not purse or script because I will take care of you. The lilies toil not yet are adorned more beautifully than the temples of Solomon."
I dismissed the thought, telling myself, "Quit trying to be so cheesy positive with those cheesy positive Mormony thoughts!" I hate cheesy crap.
Then I laid on the bed and did my "random opening" of the scriptures and got comfortable. If I fell asleep, more power to me! :)
I opened up to D&C section 84 and started reading. Just cuz that's where I opened to. As I read, I have to admit, I got emotional, my heart started pounding, and my entire being felt a huge amount of gratitude towards Heavenly Father. I couldn't believe it! Read it if you're reading this so you can see what I'm talking about! https://www.lds.org/scriptures/dc-testament/dc/84?lang=eng
I have to admit, I did skip to verse 43 cuz I'm adhd.
Not only did I get the answers I was looking for when we went to the temple, I got the comfort I needed and this huge amount of understanding in just a flash of a second. I RE-EXPERIENED Heavenly Father's love for me, was reminded that He is aware of me, and suddenly felt the burden of our insanely pathetic financial situation lifted. I don't have answers to HOW things will financially get better, but I was given a huge reminder to simply TRUST in Heavenly Father.
Regarding my struggles with the Gospel vs people. The section was great! It was all about missionary work and for me, it was as if Heavenly Father were saying to me, "Don't worry about all that. Just be a missionary. And to be a missionary, just be a good you, the best you, be a good friend and example."
I didn't feel like I needed to go on splits with the missionaries. I didn't feel like I needed to start running around bearing my testibalogne to everyone I saw. I just had this happy feeling that all I needed to do was to be a happier, positive and better me. And I really felt like Heavenly Father would take care of things. All things.
He has in the past. And I guess it's safe to say that last night, I was reminded that "His helping me" has not run out. Will not run out.
I really needed that experience last night. He sure is aware of our needs. Really and truly aware.
Tuesday, June 23, 2015
The whole knee thing
Back at BYU, 1998 ish, I was playing soccer when I was supposed to be helping with the Special Olympics. For me it was a no brainer. Play soccer vs. not play soccer. I still remember it like it was this morning. I was playing striker and running full speed towards the goal. The ball was passed sooner than I anticipated so I quickly planted my left foot and slide into the ball with the bottom of my right foot. And completely destroyed my knee. I heard the tear, the snap, the pop. I didn't know then what I had done and just figured I had sprained my knee and would be back in no time. Not so. I had what people call "the unhappy triad" and after surgery to fix my knee, had about 6 weeks of crutches and 6 months of therapy. Oh, I did score that goal though! :)
2 weeks ago, while playing basketball, I jumped up to get the ball and landed with my right leg going one way and my body going the other. I heard the familiar pop pop and seriously, started cussing because A it hurt and B, this time I knew what I had done and I was pissed.
It was Tuesday, the 2nd day of summer.
On Monday I had planned my summer days with the kids, all of which would start off with me running to the gym, working out, running back and getting things going with the kids. It was the summer, I had planned, to really get into shape. I had 2 miscarriages in the past 2 months and figured, "not getting pregnant anymore. So the silver lining can be getting my body back!"
I'm really struggling with this. I know it's superficial, I know at 41 and still pretty active, I have a lot to be thankful for. But it's still so hard. Running, playing basketball, doing things, it's my therapy. It's my Prozac. When I feel overwhelmed or super angry, I go for a quick run and come back totally cured. When I feel trim and fit, I just feel happier. I was sad about the miscarriages, but really, I thought that by closing this chapter I could open a new chapter of getting in super shape. Not to be cool, not to fit in better with all these crazy fit ID moms, not to feel more confident around chubby people. But simply, to feel good about myself.
Matt gave me a blessing and in it, he said that the Lord was aware of me and knew what I needed even before I knew what I needed for myself. I took comfort in the blessing, figuring that my knee would have a miraculous prognosis at the ortho's office.
I know the Lord is aware of me, I've had plenty of experiences where that has been PROVEN. I'm just having such a hard time with this. There was no miraculous prognosis, and when I went in today for the MRI, I ended up not getting it. I took a pregnancy test last week and it came back positive. So the radiologist said, "lets put this off just to be safe." The thing is, I haven't been sick so I'm afraid it's going to be yet another miscarriage. 4 miscarriages total. Added to this, our Kent house isn't selling like I was hoping it would.
If there ever were a time that I could use a good jog to the gym, it'd be now.
So I'm just trying to figure out that blessing. "The Lord knows what I need before I know."
Patience? Do I need to learn patience? Did I need to slow down? Cherish my kids better? I have definitely learned that I took my 8 pregnancies for granted, that's for sure!
I've been struggling with "little churchy things" lately. Are these experiences to help me understand to put those pesky thoughts to rest?
I don't know. I don't have an answer.
But I know I will get one. Life can be difficult. I am so very aware that my "difficult" may seem like child's play when compared to others' "difficult" but it's still hard. Last Sunday in Sunday School, we were discussing Nephi and his travels and how he reacted to hard things. Even his father, the prophet, who had seen visions and spoke with the Lord, murmured at one time. He didn't murmur when he had to move his family out of their city. He didn't murmur when he had to send his 4 sons back TWICE to that city. He didn't murmur when he realized he'd be crossing the ocean. He murmured when food became scarce. Which makes ma laugh a little. Going hungry does seem to make me cranky. Point being, we all have our breaking points, we all react differently to different trials.
But then I think about Nephi, how he sorta got the raw end of the deal. Always having to deal with his rebellious brothers who hated him. Always taking the "upper road." I mean, he even spent the rest of his life knowing that his posterity would eventually become extinct. Yet, the blessings he was given, or better yet, the blessings that I've even been given because of him, are endless. Had he not built that boat, I wouldn't have the Book of Mormon today.
Wow, this blog took a crazy turn. :) Didn't mean to go down this road.
I've just got to figure out my attitude towards everything. Lately, it's been pretty crappy to say the least. Somehow, I need to pull myself out of this funk. After writing this, actually, I feel better!
2 weeks ago, while playing basketball, I jumped up to get the ball and landed with my right leg going one way and my body going the other. I heard the familiar pop pop and seriously, started cussing because A it hurt and B, this time I knew what I had done and I was pissed.
It was Tuesday, the 2nd day of summer.
On Monday I had planned my summer days with the kids, all of which would start off with me running to the gym, working out, running back and getting things going with the kids. It was the summer, I had planned, to really get into shape. I had 2 miscarriages in the past 2 months and figured, "not getting pregnant anymore. So the silver lining can be getting my body back!"
I'm really struggling with this. I know it's superficial, I know at 41 and still pretty active, I have a lot to be thankful for. But it's still so hard. Running, playing basketball, doing things, it's my therapy. It's my Prozac. When I feel overwhelmed or super angry, I go for a quick run and come back totally cured. When I feel trim and fit, I just feel happier. I was sad about the miscarriages, but really, I thought that by closing this chapter I could open a new chapter of getting in super shape. Not to be cool, not to fit in better with all these crazy fit ID moms, not to feel more confident around chubby people. But simply, to feel good about myself.
Matt gave me a blessing and in it, he said that the Lord was aware of me and knew what I needed even before I knew what I needed for myself. I took comfort in the blessing, figuring that my knee would have a miraculous prognosis at the ortho's office.
I know the Lord is aware of me, I've had plenty of experiences where that has been PROVEN. I'm just having such a hard time with this. There was no miraculous prognosis, and when I went in today for the MRI, I ended up not getting it. I took a pregnancy test last week and it came back positive. So the radiologist said, "lets put this off just to be safe." The thing is, I haven't been sick so I'm afraid it's going to be yet another miscarriage. 4 miscarriages total. Added to this, our Kent house isn't selling like I was hoping it would.
If there ever were a time that I could use a good jog to the gym, it'd be now.
So I'm just trying to figure out that blessing. "The Lord knows what I need before I know."
Patience? Do I need to learn patience? Did I need to slow down? Cherish my kids better? I have definitely learned that I took my 8 pregnancies for granted, that's for sure!
I've been struggling with "little churchy things" lately. Are these experiences to help me understand to put those pesky thoughts to rest?
I don't know. I don't have an answer.
But I know I will get one. Life can be difficult. I am so very aware that my "difficult" may seem like child's play when compared to others' "difficult" but it's still hard. Last Sunday in Sunday School, we were discussing Nephi and his travels and how he reacted to hard things. Even his father, the prophet, who had seen visions and spoke with the Lord, murmured at one time. He didn't murmur when he had to move his family out of their city. He didn't murmur when he had to send his 4 sons back TWICE to that city. He didn't murmur when he realized he'd be crossing the ocean. He murmured when food became scarce. Which makes ma laugh a little. Going hungry does seem to make me cranky. Point being, we all have our breaking points, we all react differently to different trials.
But then I think about Nephi, how he sorta got the raw end of the deal. Always having to deal with his rebellious brothers who hated him. Always taking the "upper road." I mean, he even spent the rest of his life knowing that his posterity would eventually become extinct. Yet, the blessings he was given, or better yet, the blessings that I've even been given because of him, are endless. Had he not built that boat, I wouldn't have the Book of Mormon today.
Wow, this blog took a crazy turn. :) Didn't mean to go down this road.
I've just got to figure out my attitude towards everything. Lately, it's been pretty crappy to say the least. Somehow, I need to pull myself out of this funk. After writing this, actually, I feel better!
Thursday, June 11, 2015
Sick of the crap
I just read this article asking people to sign a petition meant for the president of BYU, stating that BYU needed to grant religious freedom to members who left the church. I'm not sure of all the facts behind this petition, but it stirred some serious emotions in me as I read it.
I'm just sick of the crap.
At 41, I can better sympathize with members who go inactive. I can better sympathize with Laman and Lemuel. I can better sympathize with those leaders and members who left the church when it was first being RESTORED in the latter days. I can better sympathize with those members who, in the Book of Mormon times, were angry and left the church. I really can. I have personally been struggling with and having lots of questions regarding the church. I really have. And my all time favorite friends are, or rather my "bffs" tend to be ladies in the church who are not afraid of admitting that they too, have questions and struggle with some things.
What we also have in common is a core testimony that our world needs and HAS a prophet. A man who talks with God, just like Moses, Abraham, Noah, Elijah, Samuel, Eli, Joseph (coat of many colors), Peter, etc. Men who did not aspire to be prophets, but were called by God, to be prophets. To talk with Him and share what He wants the rest of the people to know.
Most prophets in the Bible were rejected, ignored or made fun of by the people. How many jumped in the boat that Noah made? What ended up happening to Peter? Why did it take Moses 40 years to reach the land the Lord had chosen for the Israelites?
Joseph Smith was ALSO called by God to be a prophet. His treatment by the people was no different than previous prophets. Some loved him, some hated him, and some even killed him.
And this is when the rubber hits the road for me. I do have my questions, I do have my complaints, I do have my "issues", but I'm not going to "knock down my stone wall" because of them. The stone wall referring to testimony of the Gospel. Every stone wall ever built is different. Every testimony is different. We each are building our own stone walls. Some stones may not properly fit for the time being, so I just put it down and find others that do fit to build my wall. Eventually I will find where that "confusing" stone goes. But just because I have 1, 2, maybe even 10 or 20 stones that don't "fit" right now, doesn't mean I knock my wall down.
Bottom line is, the Gospel of Jesus Christ is true. We do have a prophet to lead us. He speaks with God and then shares those words with us. That's the church in a nutshell for me. The knowledge that just like prophets in the Old Testament, in the New Testament, and Book of Mormon, we have modern day prophets that lead and guide us. It's a LUCKY thing!
I'm so sick and tired of people leaving the church and then bashing it. I guess it's bound to happen. It happened in ancient days. Heck, Christ was eventually crucified. Many times I can totally sympathize with how a person "began" the slippery slope of inactivity. And then I can see so clearly how satan traps them. I have to admit, that is why I get so scared for myself because I can see how easily it could happen to me. I pray every day, well, more like talk in my head every second of the day, to Heavenly Father, because I don't want to become blinded by satan. I love Heavenly Father, I love Jesus Christ, and I have been blessed with a testimony that the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints is Christ's church, RESTORED in these latter days.
Nothing made me madder when my MIL told my husband that she questioned my commitment to the Gospel. It's that kind of crap that I hate about members of the church. But that's the thing, MEMBERS can be idiots, they can be bigots, they can hypocrites, they can be judgmental double standard ass holes, but it doesn't change the fact Joseph Smith saw Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ. It doesn't change the fact that ancient prophets in the Americas kept records of their conversations with Jesus and their dealings with their people. It doesn't change the fact that the ancient prophet Moroni took those records, buried them in the ground, and then, centuries later, appeared to Joseph Smith, and showed him where he buried those records. It doesn't change the fact that Joseph Smith translated those records from Ancient Egyptian to English so we could read them. It doesn't change the fact that today, Thomas S. Monson is our prophet.
So no, I'm not going to sign that stupid petition. No, I'm not going to jump on the "women should have the priesthood" bandwagon. The prophet hasn't given the green light on these things.
I will however embrace my identity and embrace my free agency. I'll dress modestly (MY DEFINITION) I'll keep the Word of Wisdom (MY DEFINITION) I'll keep the Sabbath Day (MY DEFINITION) I'll be a member missionary (MY DEFINITION) I'll stand for truth and righteousness (MY DEFINITION)
The Gospel is actually very simple, very liberating. I hope and pray my children grow to understand this. And stay firm in the Gospel of Jesus Christ.
I'm just sick of the crap.
At 41, I can better sympathize with members who go inactive. I can better sympathize with Laman and Lemuel. I can better sympathize with those leaders and members who left the church when it was first being RESTORED in the latter days. I can better sympathize with those members who, in the Book of Mormon times, were angry and left the church. I really can. I have personally been struggling with and having lots of questions regarding the church. I really have. And my all time favorite friends are, or rather my "bffs" tend to be ladies in the church who are not afraid of admitting that they too, have questions and struggle with some things.
What we also have in common is a core testimony that our world needs and HAS a prophet. A man who talks with God, just like Moses, Abraham, Noah, Elijah, Samuel, Eli, Joseph (coat of many colors), Peter, etc. Men who did not aspire to be prophets, but were called by God, to be prophets. To talk with Him and share what He wants the rest of the people to know.
Most prophets in the Bible were rejected, ignored or made fun of by the people. How many jumped in the boat that Noah made? What ended up happening to Peter? Why did it take Moses 40 years to reach the land the Lord had chosen for the Israelites?
Joseph Smith was ALSO called by God to be a prophet. His treatment by the people was no different than previous prophets. Some loved him, some hated him, and some even killed him.
And this is when the rubber hits the road for me. I do have my questions, I do have my complaints, I do have my "issues", but I'm not going to "knock down my stone wall" because of them. The stone wall referring to testimony of the Gospel. Every stone wall ever built is different. Every testimony is different. We each are building our own stone walls. Some stones may not properly fit for the time being, so I just put it down and find others that do fit to build my wall. Eventually I will find where that "confusing" stone goes. But just because I have 1, 2, maybe even 10 or 20 stones that don't "fit" right now, doesn't mean I knock my wall down.
Bottom line is, the Gospel of Jesus Christ is true. We do have a prophet to lead us. He speaks with God and then shares those words with us. That's the church in a nutshell for me. The knowledge that just like prophets in the Old Testament, in the New Testament, and Book of Mormon, we have modern day prophets that lead and guide us. It's a LUCKY thing!
I'm so sick and tired of people leaving the church and then bashing it. I guess it's bound to happen. It happened in ancient days. Heck, Christ was eventually crucified. Many times I can totally sympathize with how a person "began" the slippery slope of inactivity. And then I can see so clearly how satan traps them. I have to admit, that is why I get so scared for myself because I can see how easily it could happen to me. I pray every day, well, more like talk in my head every second of the day, to Heavenly Father, because I don't want to become blinded by satan. I love Heavenly Father, I love Jesus Christ, and I have been blessed with a testimony that the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints is Christ's church, RESTORED in these latter days.
Nothing made me madder when my MIL told my husband that she questioned my commitment to the Gospel. It's that kind of crap that I hate about members of the church. But that's the thing, MEMBERS can be idiots, they can be bigots, they can hypocrites, they can be judgmental double standard ass holes, but it doesn't change the fact Joseph Smith saw Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ. It doesn't change the fact that ancient prophets in the Americas kept records of their conversations with Jesus and their dealings with their people. It doesn't change the fact that the ancient prophet Moroni took those records, buried them in the ground, and then, centuries later, appeared to Joseph Smith, and showed him where he buried those records. It doesn't change the fact that Joseph Smith translated those records from Ancient Egyptian to English so we could read them. It doesn't change the fact that today, Thomas S. Monson is our prophet.
So no, I'm not going to sign that stupid petition. No, I'm not going to jump on the "women should have the priesthood" bandwagon. The prophet hasn't given the green light on these things.
I will however embrace my identity and embrace my free agency. I'll dress modestly (MY DEFINITION) I'll keep the Word of Wisdom (MY DEFINITION) I'll keep the Sabbath Day (MY DEFINITION) I'll be a member missionary (MY DEFINITION) I'll stand for truth and righteousness (MY DEFINITION)
The Gospel is actually very simple, very liberating. I hope and pray my children grow to understand this. And stay firm in the Gospel of Jesus Christ.
Saturday, May 30, 2015
He's 13 today!
Wow, can't believe he's 13! It was yesterday that he was born. His birth marked the start of "no more epidurals" for me. After he was born, around 5AM, I remember holding him then saying to Matt, "you better take him." I passed out right then and there and woke up later on that day, only to learn that he was in the NICU because he had quit breathing 3 different times and had to be resuscitated. They found absolutely nothing wrong with him. I KNEW it was because of my epidural. Laboring and delivering Colby with the epidural was a nightmare. Dallin's experience made that nightmare seem like a daydream, so I committed to never have another epidural again.
This experience totally typifies who Dallin is today. Anytime he's hit with a challenge, he takes it head on and comes out on top. Every. Time!
He was born clubfoot. Had to have surgery to correct it. He quickly learned how to walk anyways, so early that funny-not-so-funny-more-dumb-than-anything-else people would ask, "oh, does he want to be a ballerina?" I guess it's funnier now. He had to have surgery and quickly figured out walking again, only this time casted. Nothing kept that boy down!
Today he's no different. I love it!
He's such an easy kid to raise. Obedient, eager to please, ready to get done what needs to be done (maybe so he can BE DONE) :) He does great in school, excels in sports, and makes friends with the neatest of kids! I love his humor. The other day, a crazy old lady (like for reals, cah-RAY-zee) approached him and Colby whilst they were kicking the soccer ball in the field. It got near her dogs and she said, "I will kill you if you hurt my dogs! I will put your head on a plate!" Dallin said to Colby and me later on, in a very "preacher preaching" type voice, "that lady needs the GOSPEL in her life!" then started giggling at his own joke. Once an old man cussed me out while he was biking and I was driving and as soon as he biked away, Dallin started laughing sooo hard. He thought it was the funniest thing ever!
I'm thinking only crazy old people live here.
One thing that's never mentioned about him is his love for instruments. He plays the clarinet but when we moved here, switched to the bass clarinet. He's taught himself how to play the saxophone now and is playing around on my flute. That's my mom's dad coming out in him. He was quite the musician. I see that in Dallin, too.
He still has plans to be an MLS player. He could do it. He's mentally very strong. A few years ago, when I asked him "what's your plan 'B' if that doesn't work out?" he said, "No plan B, cuz that means I might not do it." Now, however, he does have a plan 'B'. Lawyer. Not sure where that came from, but we'll see where that goes.
I love my chats with him. I love listening to his plans, I love laughing at his jokes. I love his random hugs he gives me. A little while ago I mentioned to the kids the importance of saying thanks and showing gratitude. Now he's always thanking me. I love his humility in accepting guidance and putting it into action. I love his motivation, how he just doesn't let negative things get the best of him.
I'm so blessed to be his mom. He makes me look like I know what I'm doing as a parent. Quite honestly, anyone could parent him. He's such a good person. He'd make any parent look like they know what they're doing. I just get to be the lucky one.
This experience totally typifies who Dallin is today. Anytime he's hit with a challenge, he takes it head on and comes out on top. Every. Time!
He was born clubfoot. Had to have surgery to correct it. He quickly learned how to walk anyways, so early that funny-not-so-funny-more-dumb-than-anything-else people would ask, "oh, does he want to be a ballerina?" I guess it's funnier now. He had to have surgery and quickly figured out walking again, only this time casted. Nothing kept that boy down!
Today he's no different. I love it!
He's such an easy kid to raise. Obedient, eager to please, ready to get done what needs to be done (maybe so he can BE DONE) :) He does great in school, excels in sports, and makes friends with the neatest of kids! I love his humor. The other day, a crazy old lady (like for reals, cah-RAY-zee) approached him and Colby whilst they were kicking the soccer ball in the field. It got near her dogs and she said, "I will kill you if you hurt my dogs! I will put your head on a plate!" Dallin said to Colby and me later on, in a very "preacher preaching" type voice, "that lady needs the GOSPEL in her life!" then started giggling at his own joke. Once an old man cussed me out while he was biking and I was driving and as soon as he biked away, Dallin started laughing sooo hard. He thought it was the funniest thing ever!
I'm thinking only crazy old people live here.
One thing that's never mentioned about him is his love for instruments. He plays the clarinet but when we moved here, switched to the bass clarinet. He's taught himself how to play the saxophone now and is playing around on my flute. That's my mom's dad coming out in him. He was quite the musician. I see that in Dallin, too.
He still has plans to be an MLS player. He could do it. He's mentally very strong. A few years ago, when I asked him "what's your plan 'B' if that doesn't work out?" he said, "No plan B, cuz that means I might not do it." Now, however, he does have a plan 'B'. Lawyer. Not sure where that came from, but we'll see where that goes.
I love my chats with him. I love listening to his plans, I love laughing at his jokes. I love his random hugs he gives me. A little while ago I mentioned to the kids the importance of saying thanks and showing gratitude. Now he's always thanking me. I love his humility in accepting guidance and putting it into action. I love his motivation, how he just doesn't let negative things get the best of him.
I'm so blessed to be his mom. He makes me look like I know what I'm doing as a parent. Quite honestly, anyone could parent him. He's such a good person. He'd make any parent look like they know what they're doing. I just get to be the lucky one.
Monday, May 4, 2015
Kindness begins with me
It's a song, not sure of the title, but one of the phrases is, "Kindness begins with me."
So the past little while I've been struggling with negative thoughts. Resentment, bitterness, hatred. And it's kinda getting me down. Yes, I know where those thoughts come from, yes I know it's such a waste of time, yes, I know about the hot coal analogy and I know about how we're supposed to forgive. I know all these things. I have implored Heavenly Father to take this burden from me. I've tried to apply the Atonement.
But when it hits as close to home as my stuff hits, the Sunday school answers just don't cut it.
So I thought, "maybe I'll just blog about some of the people who I know and why I like them."
So here goes. First name and last name initial only. I'll write 50. Order doesn't really matter.
"Hedder" P. ~ Hilarious and we talk on the phone 1-10 times a day. I couldn't do anything w/o her.
Missy G. ~ Hilarious and she can read my mind. We finish each others thoughts. She's my twin. You have taught me how to be a better person.
Mildred H. ~ When I have any problems, I call her. We think the same. She's always right! :)
Laura D. ~ So easy to be with. So crafty. So accepting of everyone.
Adaline W. ~ Girl. Is. Funny. And beautiful. She's a rock.
Rachel S. ~ I get her. Anytime we're together, we laugh!
Shirley L. ~ She may be 20 years older than I am, but we laugh like 12 year olds together!
Jennifer V. ~ My guardian angel here on Earth. Things she'd do for me, let me know God was aware of me.
Jessica B. ~ Don't know each other well, but I have always been captivated by your beauty. You have gorgeous eyes girlfriend!
Ashley S. ~ We've had some long email chats. You've been there for me in ways you don't even know.
Chantel Z. ~ I will always love your daughter!
Laura J. ~ My girls want you to be their mom and I love your boys!!!
Patty C. ~ You're the coolest woman around. I feel super special that I get to call you friend.
Angela M. ~ My trainer. I named my daughter after you. People would see the strength of our friendship and be opened to talking about the Gospel with us. You're my hero.
Tamara M. ~ My 1st friend at BYU. So non-judgmental And ALWAYS laughing.
Selena K. ~ Laughing. Always laughing with you!
Tamara A. ~ My precious roommate. So witty, so athletic, so funny!!!
Sue K. ~ My soccer mamma. Soccer is just not the same with out you! Together, we had all the answers!
Kindra J. ~ One. Hot. Mamma. And one of the most tender hearted people I know.
Emily J. ~ Gorgeous. Faithful. Steadfast. Determined.
Cindy B. ~ So kind and hugest thing that sticks out? You are one. Awesome. Photographer.
Jodi B. ~ Hilarious. So hilarious. And someone I feel so comfortable being myself around!
Renee F. ~ My mini-me. Oh how I love your wit and humor! You filled my high school years w/so many fun memories!
April L. ~ "Apes." You filled my childhood w/so many fun memories. You always made me laugh. You still do!
Kris P. ~ I am jealous of your wit and social skills. You have skills girl! And your insights are super wise and dead on!
Rachel H. ~ My crafty one. You're Matt's twin actually. I was just really getting to know you when we left. I'd laugh so hard with you, mainly cuz you're so quite, but say the funniest things!
Tamara H. ~ I simply love you. I love your kids. I love our friendship. I love your practicality.
Evelyn N. ~ You were most of my kids' first teacher. And they all love school. I credit you with that. And oh how I miss chatting with you!!
Lynda S. ~ Basketball brought us together, preschool and my kids strengthened our friendship. I love your wisdom.
Stephanie W. ~ I sucked at VT-ing you. Yet the entire time I lived there, I craved getting to know you better!
Shelly G. ~ Oh girl, where do I start? When we first met we couldn't stop chatting together!
Andrea W. ~ Our girls brought us together. I think if we had stayed neighbors, we'd have grown inseparable. You're so easy to talk to!
Sue L. ~ I'm actually glad your dog bit me. I still have the scar! It's my tattoo of remembrance of you! I love how welcomed you always made me feel. You made me feel special!
Colleen C. ~ I seriously see you as a rock. You are strong, immovable, confident, and kind.
Simona H. ~ I'll never forget the cake you brought me. You're one of the most thoughtful people I know!
Tiffany C. ~ I love your sense of adventure and your confidence to go forward with ANYTHING! I love that about you!!
Megan C. ~ Simply put, I love your dedication to your kids!
Beth S. ~ We don't know each other super well, but you're one of the most beautiful people I know and holy cow you have a beautiful family!
Lisa F. ~ You're the first person I met when we moved to VA. I remember the day we met. I immediately loved your humor and down to earthiness'. (sp?) I always loved being around you!
Paige M. ~ Oh my goodness. How I love you. What I miss the most is you driving up to my house and all my kids running out to your car. I miss your hugs. You are the definition of strength and kindness.
Valenice C. ~ You're so wise. So funny. So diligent! I miss hearing your laugh!
Kristin B. ~ I love your honesty. I love the giggles we had together!
Alicia G. ~ Basketball. Photo shoots. You mothering my babies. I love how you always have the strength to do what's RIGHT!
Doris L. ~ What an example you are to me of working hard and working hard for your family!
Maria H. ~ My favorite memory? Walking together! I love your tenacity and your confidence! From singing from the pulpit to opening a restaurant! You are an example of going forward!
Heather H. ~ Silently going about your business, being awesome at everything!!!
Heather M. ~ Beautiful as always, but what I love most about you is how giving you are.
Dani L. ~ When we do get together, I always LOVE our talks. You are a very fun person to chat with and I know I can talk about anything w/you!
Stephanie L. ~ We don't get together much; we need to more. But really, anytime we do, I always think, "I could totally live near her!"
Kristina L. ~ The greatest thing I love about you? Your mothering. Your kids are lucky to have you.
OK, that was 50. That was fun!!! It helped for me to see what draws me to people. I see that most of my friends here are funny! I guess I like to laugh! :)
Stay tuned! I think I'm gonna do this some more!
So the past little while I've been struggling with negative thoughts. Resentment, bitterness, hatred. And it's kinda getting me down. Yes, I know where those thoughts come from, yes I know it's such a waste of time, yes, I know about the hot coal analogy and I know about how we're supposed to forgive. I know all these things. I have implored Heavenly Father to take this burden from me. I've tried to apply the Atonement.
But when it hits as close to home as my stuff hits, the Sunday school answers just don't cut it.
So I thought, "maybe I'll just blog about some of the people who I know and why I like them."
So here goes. First name and last name initial only. I'll write 50. Order doesn't really matter.
"Hedder" P. ~ Hilarious and we talk on the phone 1-10 times a day. I couldn't do anything w/o her.
Missy G. ~ Hilarious and she can read my mind. We finish each others thoughts. She's my twin. You have taught me how to be a better person.
Mildred H. ~ When I have any problems, I call her. We think the same. She's always right! :)
Laura D. ~ So easy to be with. So crafty. So accepting of everyone.
Adaline W. ~ Girl. Is. Funny. And beautiful. She's a rock.
Rachel S. ~ I get her. Anytime we're together, we laugh!
Shirley L. ~ She may be 20 years older than I am, but we laugh like 12 year olds together!
Jennifer V. ~ My guardian angel here on Earth. Things she'd do for me, let me know God was aware of me.
Jessica B. ~ Don't know each other well, but I have always been captivated by your beauty. You have gorgeous eyes girlfriend!
Ashley S. ~ We've had some long email chats. You've been there for me in ways you don't even know.
Chantel Z. ~ I will always love your daughter!
Laura J. ~ My girls want you to be their mom and I love your boys!!!
Patty C. ~ You're the coolest woman around. I feel super special that I get to call you friend.
Angela M. ~ My trainer. I named my daughter after you. People would see the strength of our friendship and be opened to talking about the Gospel with us. You're my hero.
Tamara M. ~ My 1st friend at BYU. So non-judgmental And ALWAYS laughing.
Selena K. ~ Laughing. Always laughing with you!
Tamara A. ~ My precious roommate. So witty, so athletic, so funny!!!
Sue K. ~ My soccer mamma. Soccer is just not the same with out you! Together, we had all the answers!
Kindra J. ~ One. Hot. Mamma. And one of the most tender hearted people I know.
Emily J. ~ Gorgeous. Faithful. Steadfast. Determined.
Cindy B. ~ So kind and hugest thing that sticks out? You are one. Awesome. Photographer.
Jodi B. ~ Hilarious. So hilarious. And someone I feel so comfortable being myself around!
Renee F. ~ My mini-me. Oh how I love your wit and humor! You filled my high school years w/so many fun memories!
April L. ~ "Apes." You filled my childhood w/so many fun memories. You always made me laugh. You still do!
Kris P. ~ I am jealous of your wit and social skills. You have skills girl! And your insights are super wise and dead on!
Rachel H. ~ My crafty one. You're Matt's twin actually. I was just really getting to know you when we left. I'd laugh so hard with you, mainly cuz you're so quite, but say the funniest things!
Tamara H. ~ I simply love you. I love your kids. I love our friendship. I love your practicality.
Evelyn N. ~ You were most of my kids' first teacher. And they all love school. I credit you with that. And oh how I miss chatting with you!!
Lynda S. ~ Basketball brought us together, preschool and my kids strengthened our friendship. I love your wisdom.
Stephanie W. ~ I sucked at VT-ing you. Yet the entire time I lived there, I craved getting to know you better!
Shelly G. ~ Oh girl, where do I start? When we first met we couldn't stop chatting together!
Andrea W. ~ Our girls brought us together. I think if we had stayed neighbors, we'd have grown inseparable. You're so easy to talk to!
Sue L. ~ I'm actually glad your dog bit me. I still have the scar! It's my tattoo of remembrance of you! I love how welcomed you always made me feel. You made me feel special!
Colleen C. ~ I seriously see you as a rock. You are strong, immovable, confident, and kind.
Simona H. ~ I'll never forget the cake you brought me. You're one of the most thoughtful people I know!
Tiffany C. ~ I love your sense of adventure and your confidence to go forward with ANYTHING! I love that about you!!
Megan C. ~ Simply put, I love your dedication to your kids!
Beth S. ~ We don't know each other super well, but you're one of the most beautiful people I know and holy cow you have a beautiful family!
Lisa F. ~ You're the first person I met when we moved to VA. I remember the day we met. I immediately loved your humor and down to earthiness'. (sp?) I always loved being around you!
Paige M. ~ Oh my goodness. How I love you. What I miss the most is you driving up to my house and all my kids running out to your car. I miss your hugs. You are the definition of strength and kindness.
Valenice C. ~ You're so wise. So funny. So diligent! I miss hearing your laugh!
Kristin B. ~ I love your honesty. I love the giggles we had together!
Alicia G. ~ Basketball. Photo shoots. You mothering my babies. I love how you always have the strength to do what's RIGHT!
Doris L. ~ What an example you are to me of working hard and working hard for your family!
Maria H. ~ My favorite memory? Walking together! I love your tenacity and your confidence! From singing from the pulpit to opening a restaurant! You are an example of going forward!
Heather H. ~ Silently going about your business, being awesome at everything!!!
Heather M. ~ Beautiful as always, but what I love most about you is how giving you are.
Dani L. ~ When we do get together, I always LOVE our talks. You are a very fun person to chat with and I know I can talk about anything w/you!
Stephanie L. ~ We don't get together much; we need to more. But really, anytime we do, I always think, "I could totally live near her!"
Kristina L. ~ The greatest thing I love about you? Your mothering. Your kids are lucky to have you.
OK, that was 50. That was fun!!! It helped for me to see what draws me to people. I see that most of my friends here are funny! I guess I like to laugh! :)
Stay tuned! I think I'm gonna do this some more!
Wednesday, April 22, 2015
Lunch notes
Up until now, the kids have always had free school lunches. The silver lining in 15 years of schooling.
So now the kids are packers. Or as they say here, "cold lunch." I always called it packers, but anyways.
Having to bring their lunches to school is great, but just something to add to my random trips to the school for forgotten items. Homework, a signed permission slip, now lunch. When you're a stay home mom, it's what you're good for. Running forgotten items to school so your child can be less responsible.
Yeah, I got it.
And it's not the younger girls that forget things, it's the older boys. The girls are made of maturity, properness, cleanliness, responsibility. The boys? It's comical.
So to "teach them to not forget their lunches" I would do what they see as the worst thing ever. I write heart-felt feelings, on the front of their lunch bag. In marker.
"You are my world!"
"You're so handsome, I know all the girls just think you're hot!"
"You can achieve anything you want because you're awesome!"
Stuff like that. Yes, I do believe it, but normally I'm not one to trumpet those kinds of things. Unless I'm trying to teach my kids to be more responsible.
The boys would come home from school and beg me to stop writing on their lunch bags. "It's sooo embarrassing!" "Well, I do love you and I want you to know those things. And I wouldn't write them if I didn't have to bring your lunch to you!"
The girl's ears apparently perked.
"What are you talking about?"
So guess who started "forgetting" their lunches?
I sensed that the girls LIKED the idea. They have actual lunch bags, so I can't write on the outside of their lunches. I delivered a couple of forgotten lunches to the girls with notes put inside their lunch bags.
And then it happened. Getting ready for school one morning, Angela handed me a pen and a stack of paper and said, "here Mom, for our notes." It wasn't a demand, it wasn't joking, it wasn't even asking. It was a simple statement.
Oh my gosh! The innocence of it! The preciousness of it! The NECESSITY of it!
So every day, I write 5 notes, sometimes 6 (yes, Matt gets them every once in a while too!) The boys at first would actually pack their lunches and smash them into their backpacks before I could slip their notes in them, but I persisted and now, they actually wait for me to write them and THEN smash their lunches into their backpacks.
The kids love the notes. And I'm glad this idea evolved. My greatest blessings go to school every day, get lambasted with who knows what (OK, I KNOW with what). I think reading a "love note" from me is a great way to lift them, to remind them of how important they are, to lift their spirits, to put a spring in their step, to help them deal with peer pressure, or strengthen them against temptation. It's nice to hear great things about yourself, especially from your parents.
I do have to keep Addi's simple. Her reading isn't up to par with her siblings. The other day my note to her was, "I love your laugh. Always keep laughing!" When I picked her up she said, "Mom, your note was weird and made my friends laugh."
"Oh really?"
"You said you love my lunch. Always keep lunching. That was really weird." When I told her what I had REALLY written, she belted out her awesome belly laugh. The girl laughs all the time. Especially at herself.
I found out my daughters save their notes.
I wish I had done this long ago, but that's OK. Never too late to start a good habit.
So now the kids are packers. Or as they say here, "cold lunch." I always called it packers, but anyways.
Having to bring their lunches to school is great, but just something to add to my random trips to the school for forgotten items. Homework, a signed permission slip, now lunch. When you're a stay home mom, it's what you're good for. Running forgotten items to school so your child can be less responsible.
Yeah, I got it.
And it's not the younger girls that forget things, it's the older boys. The girls are made of maturity, properness, cleanliness, responsibility. The boys? It's comical.
So to "teach them to not forget their lunches" I would do what they see as the worst thing ever. I write heart-felt feelings, on the front of their lunch bag. In marker.
"You are my world!"
"You're so handsome, I know all the girls just think you're hot!"
"You can achieve anything you want because you're awesome!"
Stuff like that. Yes, I do believe it, but normally I'm not one to trumpet those kinds of things. Unless I'm trying to teach my kids to be more responsible.
The boys would come home from school and beg me to stop writing on their lunch bags. "It's sooo embarrassing!" "Well, I do love you and I want you to know those things. And I wouldn't write them if I didn't have to bring your lunch to you!"
The girl's ears apparently perked.
"What are you talking about?"
So guess who started "forgetting" their lunches?
I sensed that the girls LIKED the idea. They have actual lunch bags, so I can't write on the outside of their lunches. I delivered a couple of forgotten lunches to the girls with notes put inside their lunch bags.
And then it happened. Getting ready for school one morning, Angela handed me a pen and a stack of paper and said, "here Mom, for our notes." It wasn't a demand, it wasn't joking, it wasn't even asking. It was a simple statement.
Oh my gosh! The innocence of it! The preciousness of it! The NECESSITY of it!
So every day, I write 5 notes, sometimes 6 (yes, Matt gets them every once in a while too!) The boys at first would actually pack their lunches and smash them into their backpacks before I could slip their notes in them, but I persisted and now, they actually wait for me to write them and THEN smash their lunches into their backpacks.
The kids love the notes. And I'm glad this idea evolved. My greatest blessings go to school every day, get lambasted with who knows what (OK, I KNOW with what). I think reading a "love note" from me is a great way to lift them, to remind them of how important they are, to lift their spirits, to put a spring in their step, to help them deal with peer pressure, or strengthen them against temptation. It's nice to hear great things about yourself, especially from your parents.
I do have to keep Addi's simple. Her reading isn't up to par with her siblings. The other day my note to her was, "I love your laugh. Always keep laughing!" When I picked her up she said, "Mom, your note was weird and made my friends laugh."
"Oh really?"
"You said you love my lunch. Always keep lunching. That was really weird." When I told her what I had REALLY written, she belted out her awesome belly laugh. The girl laughs all the time. Especially at herself.
I found out my daughters save their notes.
I wish I had done this long ago, but that's OK. Never too late to start a good habit.
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