A good week

One of my biggest "so there!" arguments with Matt is with my job, I don't get to see results until my children are parents and I can see how they've turned out. 20 years or so. Well, I'd like to say 30 years, cuz I hope and pray my children marry later in life. Anyways, I accuse Matt of not understanding how "thankless" my job can be. He studies for a test, takes the test, and is supercharged when he gets his 'A'. (I never got A's on tests. Unless it was a fitness test. Otherwise, I rejoiced with a C. Especially if it was a high C.) Matt's been doing well in his PA program. High A's on every test. I'm happy for him of course (it's in my best interest!) and glad that he gets "immediate response" to his hard work. What are my immediate responses to my hard work? Oh, yeah! That's it! Ah-NOTHER load of dishes! Oh, and yes! Of course! The clean clothes I asked the kids to put away ... all over the floor! And what have we here? Poop in the toilet, not flushed, probably 2 hrs DOA. And w/o toilet paper, yippee. Means there's one nasty bum on the run. Anyways! I must admit. I love motherhood, but it's not for the wimpy. Maternal love. It's obviously God-given. SOOO, wanna hear what happened to me? When it rains, it pours. About a year ago Angela played this girl in a soccer game. This girl was her team's MVP for sure. Fast, aggressive, awesome. And missing her arm. It looked to have been amputated below the elbow. But that's what made this girl even more amazing. She didn't let that stop her awesomeness! It did however scare Angela. To the point that she didn't want to play soccer the next season in fear that she'd have to play this girl again. She didn't like the "feel" of her arm when it touched her. I didn't realize that the reason Angela didn't want to play soccer the following season was due to this girl. I just figured Ange wanted a break. So I gave it to her. When she asked to miss out on yet another season, I questioned her and that's when I found out that she was afraid of the players arm. So I told Angela, "play this season, and the Saturday you have to play this girl's team, you can miss the game." I didn't want to force Angela into this because I could tell it really troubled her. I also figured, and prayed, that as time went on, Angela would come to terms on her time table. As the time drew closer for Angela to play this certain team, I could sense, as only a mother senses in her child, her fear and apprehension. Angela reminded me over and over that she didn't want to play the game and I reminded her back, over and over, that she wasn't going to. I promised her I wouldn't pressure her or try and even ENCOURAGE her to play. Just simply, you won't play that game. We did talk about the little girl, how she was just a normal, sweet, pretty girl who liked soccer. That something happened to her, we don't know what, but she had to lose a part of her arm. Angela got it. She just didn't like the feel of it. I got it, too. And I felt it most important that Angela take this problem face to face, on her terms. The night before the game, Angela came up to me and said, "Mom, I don't want my fear to stop me from playing. So I want to play tomorrow." I. Couldn't. Belive it. She told me that she was still nervous, so, "Can we talk more about her and about my fears?" She asked me to send the kids to bed so we could have alone time and just talk in privacy. So I did. And so we did. She told me she was frustrated w/herself that the little "nob makes me scared." Then Angela said the most tender thing. She said, "She has pretty hair. I bet she wishes she had my arms like I wish I had her hair." I told her she's probably right. Long story short, Angela played. She played her heart out. I caught her stealing glimpses over at the little girl, but that was it. After the game, Angela told me she wanted to tell the girl she played a good game. I agreed, but at that same second, Angela chickened out. And I decided to once again, not force the issue. I know she'll get another chance and maybe then, she'll make the choice to congratulate her on her own. I was so proud of Angela that day. So so proud. I have my own fears. I can't read outloud. If asked, my chest seizes up, I can't breath, and my throat goes paralyzed. Most people call that an anxiety attack. I call it a serious issue. I can't handle heights. I get the sensation that I want to throw myself over. I hug walls or hide behind things so I don't have to deal with windows in tall buildings. Most people call that a phobia. I call it another serious issue. I'm too afraid to face my issues, but Angela faced hers. Head on. And totally on her own. The other thing that happened this week had to do w/Colby. His whole soccer team was invited to one of the players houses for a Halloween party. He was sooo excited. The night came for the party and Colby was literally pacing the house, asking what time it was, wondering if we should get going. Because I didn't know the player or his family well, we decided to take Colby as part of our weekly date, check the party out, and then leave Colby there so we could have our date, then pick Colby back up. Matt hadn't turned the car off before Colby had hopped out the car and was gone. Matt and I were greeted by the hostess and we introduced ourselves to the other guests. I asked where the boys were and she said, "They're out ding-dong-ditching." I honestly wasn't comfortable with this. Not so much the activity itself, but just because we were in an unfamiliar neighborhood, I didn't know anyone, it was pitch black, etc. So I went to find Colby to try and talk him out of it. No Colby. They had long gone. Matt and I just looked at each other, speechless, wondering what to do. So we decided to stick around, enjoy the party, and wait until the boys got back. We sat around a fire w/the other adults and really enjoyed ourselves. I love meeting people and the party was actually super fun and festive. As much as I was enjoying myself, however, I was worried about Colby. Anxious for the boys to get back. And out of the blue/black, Colby joined our fire. I turned to him and said, "Oh, you're back! Where are the other boys?" He said, "They were ringing doorbells and running off and making people mad, so I just left." I. Could. Not. Belive it. These boys were his buddies. Soccer buddies. And not that it really matters, but thse buddies just so happened to be the strongest players on his team. And he had the courage to up and leave an activity that they were doing that he didn't feel comfortable doing. All by himself. In the end, he came w/us on our date. And I just fell head over heels in love with my boy, all over again. Colby is infamous for being "a follower." And he is. In social settings, at school, at church, he is definitely NOT a leader. He follows. And he usually likes to follow the kid who's acting the fool, too! Colby likes to make people laugh, so when he sees the kid who, in his opinion, is funny, or cutting up, he likes to follow that kid. So to see that Colby up and left a group the way he did that evening, just boosted my everything as a mom. Tonight Matt took Jess out for her birthday date. As part of her date, she had her dad take her to the dollar store and she bought a present for every single person in the family. She knew the boys liked Cow Tails, so she bought that. She knew the girls like stuffed animals, so her sisters got stuffed animals. O loves dinosaurs, so she bought him a dinosaur toy. And McSmiley got a ball. Cuz guess what? He loves to kick balls around. And they were all bought with her birthday money from her grandparents. On a daily basis I'm getting after my kids for being ... kids. For trying my patience, ignoring my requests, being mean or snobby to each other, the list can go on for quite some time here! So when I had a week of 3 of my kids making choices like the ones they made. Gosh, I have to admit. It makes me so incredibly happy. At the same time, I can't pat myself on the back. Or even Matt's. These kids came to me with the greatest spirits. Heavenly Father sent me great kids. They're easy kids. Anyone could raise them and they'd turn out great. I know it. It sorta tempts me to put away my photography so I can more fully enjoy these spirits. They're obviously more valient than I am. And I bet I could learn a lot more from them than from my camera!!