My gut tells me ...

Oh my gosh, I have a gut that won't stop!! How do I get rid of it?! OK, I'm not really looking for advice. I do know how to get rid of guts, but she's telling me that she loves me and wants to stick around. And my kids love my gut. They slap it, smash their faces into it, my babies have all tried to nurse from it. They even knead it and say they're making pie crust.