Big 'D's game, my heart, and heavenly intervention

I said I'd talk about child #2's game. Here it goes!

After the 5k, we all went, as a family, to watch #4's game. That consisted of Matt and me watching whilst the remainding 6 played in an empty soccer field near by. Quite the support group. Anyways!

As soon as her game was over, however, Matt had to book it with #2 for his game, which was about 45 mins away. He also took another child but I can't remember which. Like for reals, I totally can't remember. Maybe it was #4 and #6? Anyways, not important.

They leave and I take the rest of the crew to their perspective games. End of the day we go home and see that Matt had just gotten home from his soccer festivities. I pulled up and, because my group had great games, cheerfully asked, "Well, how'd his game go??"

Matt looked at me, face full of disappointment and in a very monotone voice said, "the team lost, and your son got a red card."

I play soccer. Played in high school and all through college (intramural, not for BYU.) A yellow card in my opinion is fine. It simply means you're super aggressive, maybe a bit more than you needed to be. A red card means you suck. You suck because the way you played told the entire crowd that you don't have the skills to play sillfully, so instead you play dangersously. You made an ugly foul. You basically suck. When I see players get red cards, I get sorta embarrassed for them.

And my son got one.

"What happened?" I asked.

"You'll need to talk to him."

I was furious.

"No, really, I need to know what happened!"

"He shoved a kid and then yelled at the ref."

I have this alter ego. It's called Sally. Don't mess with Sally because Sally is the devil and will kick the butt of anyone who needs their butt kicked. Don't mess with Sally because Sally's a 'B' and she don't care. And child #2 was fixen to chat with Sally.

I stormed into the house. So many thoughts crossed my mind. I was staring failure in the face. To have a child act like that on a soccer field infront of his amazing coaches, his wonderful team and his dedicated father at the ripe old age of 10 meant I had unknowingly created a monster and not much I really could do about it. I also wondered, had we actually had too many kids? Did his potential for such ugly behavior go undetected because I was too busy caring for younger children? I also wondered, "what EFFECTIVE punishment could I give him?" Yelling at him? No, because that's what he did to the ref. Spanking him? No, because he had been physical with another player and by being physical with him, I'd only encourage the behavior. I also tried gauging my anger. I was SOOO ANGRY, but I wanted to be sure I was angry for the right reason. Was I this angry because of pride? MY failure, MY embarrassment at being the mother of such a poorly behaved child. I wanted to be sure I was angry for the right reason. (Is that even such a thing? Anger for the right reason?)

So may thoughts in just the 3 seconds it took me to clear the front yard and enter the house. As I entered the house I said a feeble prayer. "Heavenly Father, help me do the right thing."

Expecting to find him sulking in his room, I was SHOCKED BEYOND BELIEF to see him laying on the couch, watching TV. My anger was beyond clear thinking.

"How'd the game go?" I asked cooly.

Looking up, he said, "the team lost."

"How'd you do?" I asked, almost without breathing.

And with this attitudy smirk, he said, "I got a red card.

He was proud of that? I was mentally REELING!!!

How'd you get a red card?

I pushed a kid and then yelled at the ref.

Why'd you push the kid?

He was pushing me! (Still eyeing me with that same smirk.)

And why did you yell at the ref?

Cuz he was a jerk!

And then my blood started to jump from hot, straight into steam.

And you decided to be a jerk right back?

My anger was at a level it hasn't been to in such a long time, that I, at that moment, used every ounce of energy to restrain myself. The words I wanted to use at a volume I needed them to be used at was not good.

And then my child looked at me and said, "Really we tied and I scored 2 goals!"

Have you ever seen a sail boat out in the ocean with no wind. Just sitting there. All quiet and unresponsive. Lost. Useless. Maybe even it's empty? That was me. I couldn't properly process what he just said. Matt had followed me into the house and starts laughing. And then can't stop talking.

"He played the best game of his life! Passing, hustling, stealing the ball, and his goals were amazing! He could've had 3, but his first shot just barely hit the cross bar and deflected! They tied 3-3 against the hardest team of the league!"

I don't think I'll ever forget that Saturday. And I don't think I'll ever forget the small answer I had to my prayer as I marched into the house. Heavenly Father told me, because He know how mad I was, "just talk to him." I'm so grateful I didn't just march in and blow up. I'm so grateful that I had the brains to listen to that prompting.

How people raise children without prayer, it blows my mind. I am so grateful for prayer, guidance and ANSWERS! And I'm so grateful for my great kids. He came home last night, on a high! "Mom! I won the juggling contest!" as he showed me his Sweet Frog gift card. (Coach has a juggling contest with the team. He who juggles the most gets a Sweet Frog gift card.) We took the family out for a Sweet Frog celebration that night.

I really do have great kids. Obviously with a sick sense of humor. That maybe got passed down by their dad? I know I'm not out of the forest when it comes to raising my kids. Failure is bound to happen. I just hope and pray that as as I go about my journey of being a mother, that I do continue to hope and pray for Heavenly Father's help and my listening to it!

5K Dash and Splash ... and then some

Last Saturday was the absolute best day the family has had in a long time. The day went perfectly! Gotta tell you about it!

We're playing a lot of soccer this season. We'll more like, we've got a ton of juggling we're doing with 2 on travel, 3 on rec, me head coaching one team and assistant coaching 2 teams. And Matt's gone everyday from 7AM to 9/10PM. And I don't like to be busy!! When the season started, I marked our calendar, figured in all of our soccer games, my photo shoots, my races, and church activites. Not a moment. Too. Breathe.

And then the kids' school announced a 5k race that would include splashing colors all over the shirts at different stations. On a day that we had 4 games and I had a photo shoot. Matt was dead set against the race. I thought it'd be fun. The 3 older kids were dead set FOR the race. Matt argued, "lets not add to our already busy day!" I argued, "The kids want to do it and it'll be a fun family activity." Matt argued back, "We're too busy!"

So I registered our family. The kids wanted to do it. And although I knew it'd mean a ridiculously busy day, I knew we'd have a good time.

The night before the race I started second guessing myself. I figured Matt could run with the 3 older kids and I'd run with the 4 younger ones. We have a large jogger that works as a trailer for a bike, so it's nice and easy to push around. I figured that I'd have the 3 little ones in the stroller and would jog/walk with #4. When she pooped out, we'd just turn around and wait at the finish line for the rest of the crew. Her soccer game was 2 hours after the race was supposed to start, so I didn't want to exhaust her. The thing was, because of the different locations for our rec games,and with Matt being gone for #2's travel game, I'd be driving 3 times across Augusta County. Grrrr, not looking forward to it. And then when all the games were done, I'd have to book it to the photo shoot!! Lots to do!!

Saturday came and since we had paid for the race and the kids were excited for it, we got ready to go, bright and early. We made it to the early bird parking cuz I didn't want to walk far after wards. We met up with our "family friends" Missy and Laura and her daughter. They were all cute and fancy, I was all fat. Pushing around the 3 kids and keeping the others close by. A bit later, we were summoned to get to the starting line. They let us off in heats. Child #1 had plans to be the first runner over the finish line, so he went with the 1st heat. Child #2 just wanted to be in the same heat as his brother. The horn went off and off went my first babies.

Matt and child #3 lined up for the 2nd heat. She's a strong runner, I'd slow her down, so that why I wanted to let her run with her daddy. And they took off at the horn. I'm sure with Missy and Laura, too.

I lined up with the 3rd heat. Daughter to my side, 3 in my stroller. Before the horn buzzed, children #5 and #6 yelled, "we want out of the stroller!" I obliged, figuring that #6 would last a quarter mile and #5 a half mile. I figured that #4 would probably last 1 mile and then we'd just cut back to the starting line. The horn blasted and we took off jogging. Child #7 also wanted out and began to scream and cry.

My 7 year old I guess ended up running 4 miles that day. She kept running ahead then having to turn around when I'd call her back cuz she was leaving us in the dust. My 5 year old just jogged and jogged, anxious to see what the next color station would be. And my 3 year old kept his eyes focused infront, turning down every single offer to take a break and ride in the stroller. And they all kept this up until the finish line. Well, except there was a point, at about mile 2, that I had to put #6 in the stroller to sprint ahead to catch up with the girls and get out of a trafficky area. After about 1 minute he whined to get out. So I took him out and yes, he finished the race strong.

I couldn't believe it!!! I realized I should have put my 7 year old with her dad and big sister and I learned that my 5 year old doesn't feel pain when she's happy. She LOVED getting to those color stations. And I learned that my 3 year old is very determined and has endless energy. I learned that I've got pretty good runners on my hands!

And child #7 cried the whole. Entire. Time. No joke.

The entire family, at one point or another, ran through the finish line. It was such a great morning!

And no, child #1 didn't finish in first place. But he did finish 3rd of his age group. Or so he says. :) Child #2 finished about 3 minutes behind. And that's a kid who was born with a club foot. So I was happy!

The day continued with soccer games. Child #1 didn't have a game, so that was nice. He got to stay behind to help me with the other kids. Our first game was #4's game. She didn't score, but she did such a great job PASSING!!! At this age, a well executed pass is way more impressive than a goal. Trust me. It is. I also noticed that she did a great job getting herself into position to receive passes, so that was great!

I drove #3 out to her game, but had to leave her there in the care of her coach as her game was at the exact same time as #5's game and that is also the team I coach. So I dropped her off, wished her luck, and took off quickly. I found out by her coach that she did great, overcoming a silly fear she has. This is for a later post.

I drove us all back for #5's game. This child of mine loves soccer, mainly cuz it's fun because she gets to be with new friends. When she plays, she has a smile on her face that you can see from the moon, however she plays as if she's on an Easter Egg hunt. She'll see the ball, run up to it, dance around it, and watch to see what the rest of the group is doing. If she happens to kick it, she does so as if it's an injured bunny and doesn't want to hurt it. And if the ball happens to roll past it, she'll once again look to see what everyone else is doing. With a ginormous smile on her face.

Her team has gotten creamed every game this season. But if you ask them, they say they win. And that's just great!

I will be posting child #2's soccer game. It deserves it's own post.

Now, for the things I learned this Saturday. I'm not a fan of an overscheduled family. Not at all. I am, however, a fan of sports because sports means exercise and teaching kids the value and the FUN in sports and exercise is invaluable!!! There is a feeling of accomplishment, of achievement, of success when you participate in sports. You learn how to set and reach goals, how to win graciously and lose graciously. You learn how to better yourself, how to push yourself. You learn the wisdom of resting. Of eating healthy. You make great friends. You strengthen your heart, your lungs, your mind. Sports and exercise are as important as breathing air, drinking water, and going to church.

That's why I feel sorry for people who don't exercise. They miss out on so much!! But I think the reason they miss out on it, is they don't see the fun in it. So my grand plan is to expose my kids just to the FUN of it. Trick them into loving it! :)

And for the record, I ended up having to reschedule my photo shoot, so that freed up my day a bit.

All in all, it was a great day. And the cherry on top was having Matt tell me, "I'm so glad you made me do that. We need to do this more as a family." Followed up by child #1 asking, "When's that mud run?"

Mon$y making v$ntur$

When I grew up, we didn't have much in the way of TV. We never had cable and were always limited to the few local stations and when we moved to Germany ~ well, wouldn't make much sense to watch anything local. We watched a bunch of videos. Mainly the ones you can check out from the library. We were dependent on the military base, so a military library's video selections ... not what you'd call stellar.

Sooo, wasn't much into TV. And I'm still that way. Now when I'm sitting watching something on TV, it gives me the itches. I start to need to do things. It's irritating. I can't relax. Some people say that they like to relax, so they'll watch TV. When I want to relax, I just take a nap. That's relaxing. I don't really see anything better than napping to get relaxed!!

Sooo, (lets see if I can't start every paragraph with a long sooooo) this attitude, or sickness, or blessing, however you see it, spreads over into anything TV related. i-touch. smartphone. i-pod. android. blueberry. i-touchpad. i-whatchamajiggy. i-shouffle. walkphone. bluetooth. So many electronic devices out there. I don't understand any of it. Needless to say, my kids want them.

Sooo, these things aren't cheap. Like, really. Not. Cheap. And personally, I think the only expensive thing any child should ever own is an i-nstrument. You want a $300 toy? Sure, here's your French Horn. Not something the size of a stamp!

And I'm dead set against it. My kids think that the reason they don't get said objects is because they're 1 of 7 children. That is part of the reason, but the other part is, I said so.

And they beg, and they beg, and they beg. And I end up sounding like a broken record. Do they even get that phrase, "broken record"? Probably not.

And then one day, a light bulb went off in my head. And I gathered my sweet treasures and said, "If you really want your i-stuff, you'll have to earn it." They cheered. I raised my hand so they wouldn't waste too much time cheering. Because they know they get paid for chores and grades.

"You have to earn every penny of it sewing or winning essay contests."

Here's another catch. Lets say they make $10. First they pay tithe, leaving $9. Then they have to put half of that into their savings accounts, leaving $4.50. So although they make $10, they get $4.50 to put towards their black hole of time toys.

Soooo, here's my thinking. None of my kids so far loves to sew. They do it because they have dreams. Sewing is hard for them. I'm standing right over their shoulder, expecting perfection (if you sew, you know what I mean. You start a project just a tad bit off, it ends a train wreck. Hey, lesson in life!!)

I hate the idea of my kids making enough to buy i-whatevers. I don't like to see society's kids with their noses down, fingers flying, while the days shine bright and beautiful.

However, by doing it the "hard" way, I'm hoping for some valuable lessons. #1. learning a trade. Girls AND BOYS benefit from learning to sew. #2. Appreciating hard work. #3. The whole, don't start something wrong, it'll end disasterous lesson #4. Feeling of pure accomplishment #5. Entreprenuership ~ is that even a word? And if it is, how the heck is it spelled? #6. Maybe after working so hard, I'm hoping in the end, they won't want to spend their hard earned money frivalously (there's no spell check in blogs.)

Right now they'r making bags. "Church" bags I call them because we go to church every Sunday and they're perfect for scriptures, notebooks, pens, magazines, lost sock, random tossed shoe, jacket no longer needed. You get the picture. They're selling for $35. It costs $18 to make them (on a good day). Leaving them $17. Tithing brings it to $15.30. Half of that is $7.65. They want $200 toys. They'd need to sell over 26 bags. Bwahahaha (evil laugh spelling?) this'll take them years!!! :)

Here are some samples. If you like any of these, they're ready to ship. If you want something else, just let us know! The kids are anxious to make millions! :)