So here it is: When Matt's all done, where are we going to be? My preference is to stay here. Awesome friends, perfect house, love the school system and teachers, amazing ward. The kids are happy here, great sports programs. I love the community ~ not too big, not too small. Super family oriented here. Just love it here. So with the possibility of moving to WA, I'm a bit apprehensive. I welcome change, I thrive on it, but ... I have to admit, it's awesome here. We'd go where the money is and if it's in WA, that's where we'd go. And it just so happens to be back in Walla Walla, Matt's old stomping grounds. And if we moved back there, what would we do with the 2 homes we own here? Rent them? Sell them? After 3 years in WA, would we come back? Would we move somewhere else? Would we stay there?
So many unknowns.
The other night I was reading my journal (yes, I still write in it) and read entries where I was so stressed about things and as I read I was like, "gosh, I didn't need to worry so much because it turned out even better than I even imagined!" So I have faith and trust that things will work out. They will.
I keep having these overwhelming feelings, super random, it totally overcomes me when I least expect it, but that feeling of "I can't wrap my head around the fact that I'VE ALWAYS EXISTED." Do you ever have that? The other day I was driving and all of a sudden I thought, "I can't believe how lucky and blessed I am to be ME." Nothing cocky, I've got large thighs, but more like, "I can't believe I even exist. That somehow this world exists, that somehow I exist, that I am me. And my stress about where we're going to end up just vanishes. Eternity is a big thing and this is ... nothing.
Anyways, just things that are happening in my head these past few days.
Life is good. Keeping things easy. Soccer is our life right now. I absolutely love how well the kids are doing. Colby's rocking the defensive line. I wish his coach would play him up but Colby won't tell him because he LIKES where he's at. I'm not going to tell his coach because I don't want to be doing things for him. He's a teenager. His coach has no idea how well he does in goal, but Colby won't tell him to put him there, either. That kid's so talented in the sports area. Dallin has totally impressed me. He was the bench warmer last season. He still is, but not so much bench warmer anymore. He's more like 2nd string. The difference between the two was last season he played about 6 mins per game (gut wrenching, I know) and this season, he's averaged 25. I gave him 2 options: Stay on the red team and "peck your way up" to play more, or be put on the white team where you'd be one of the strongest players. He opted to "peck his way up" to better push himself and improve. And he's doing it. I love that he can push himself and doesn't let any set backs frustrate him. Set backs seem to motivate him.
The girls are awesome. Angela, I don't know where that girl came from. Her speed! She has such a strong and confident shot, she gets passing, she gets opening up for a pass. She dribbles with the best of them but passes like the best-est of them. And she still has that awesome smile on her face because she's just having so much fun out there. Like a fish in water when that girl's on the soccer fields. Jess had to play up with her sister this season. She's in 2nd playing on a team of 3rd and 4th graders. She's about a foot shorter than the average, but with Jess, she was born with this "I can do anything" complex. At times it gets her into trouble. Overly confident. And I wouldn't even say it that way. It just doesn't enter her head that she CAN'T do something. She's dribbling and passing well, but her strong point is being in the right place at the right time. Coach has told her, "You are ALWAYS in position!" and because of it, she scored her first goal in her first game. She's botched about a dozen goals since then, she needs to get more aggressive and strengthen her kick, but we'll get there.
Owen and Addi are still playing together. Those 2 have come a long way. Her first season Addi reminded me of a literal butterfly, dancing around the soccer ball, just happy to be with her team mates. Now she dribble, turn the ball, pass, shoot, "run away from the ball" when her team mate has it so she can get the pass. She's showing me to be the most aggressive of her sisters, which shocks me cuz she's so shy in "real life." Owen, that kid cracks me up. Just last season all he'd do was chase the group. Not even the ball, just run after the group of kids who were chasing the ball. Now he's getting it. He seems actually more coordinated of the boys at this age. So we'll see.
Squash (as we call #7) just likes junk food. The kids have mentioned, "Do you think he'll be fat when he gets bigger?" I have to tell them that we'll still love him! They're concerned for him, which cracks me up. And of course my sweet Sadie, the love of my life, just seems to get whiter and whiter every day, and hair redder and redder every day. Cracks me up when I hold her. Her white skin next to my brown-ness. Gonna have to keep some serious sunscreen on that girl!! I was telling a friend from church that she's my recessive gene baby and he goes, "maybe she's your last, had to scrape the bottom of the gene barrel ..." We had a good laugh.
And to answer that, not sure if she's our last or not. Sometimes I get the feeling that we'll have more, but I'm not committed either way. We'll know though. It's been such a wonderful blessing having these sweet spirits in my life. I love my kids so much. They're my everything. And it's not like I just "love newborns." Well, of course I love newborns. But I also love toddlers, preschoolers, I even love middle schoolers. I just love every age, every stage. Honestly, I feel like we'll have 2 more, but maybe not. Could just be a flash feeling of craziness! :)
OK, I best go. Needed to update a little this blog. My computer had crashed 2 mos ago.
