I really need to start writing more. It's so therapeutic. And as we were packing up the basement, I ran across my college journal. I was good at writing my thoughts down. And talk about a rush of memories that came over me. It's a good thing to write.
I don't even know where to start. We're reading in the Book of Mormon right now about Nephi and his family having to leave the comforts of their home to travel to unknown places and how hard it was on them. I find it interesting that we're in this section of the Book of Mormon at this time in my life.
Not at ALL comparing myself to Nephi or his family, but feeling better that he actually took the time to make it a point to share the facts that they liked life where they were at and didn't really want to move.
I love life where I'm at. There's so much I love about this place, about my life here, that moving is very VERY low on my "want to do" list. Months ago, before we knew what we were doing, Colby would say, "I bet we're moving cuz life here's just too good."
Interesting to hear a then 13 year old say that.
That said, I feel good about it. I really, really do. In about a months time we have to pack up the house, move, Matt has to take his PANCE the day before we pack the truck. We find out how Matt did pretty much when we get to ID. Going to a place I've never been to, well, I don't need to write all this down. Needless to say, I'm so overwhelmed and tired that I've become incoherent! I can't follow my train of thought when I talk to people. I have even caught myself stuttering! I'll start to talk and then totally forget what my train of thought was.
Hmmmm, I actually do this on a regular basis. :)
Anyways, in my heart of hearts, I feel good about this. AND IT'S SO INTERESTING that I found out Dirk passed away THE DAY AFTER we find out about our move. Why? Because it was my experience with Dirk that was so similar to this one. I wanted to be with him, but just knew it wasn't right. I want to be here, but I just know it's right to move. So as overwhelmed as I am about this move, I know it'll be OK.
And the other day, I had a distinct feeling that we'd be back. When? Who knows. But I did feel like we'd return. Which put a hop in my step!! :)
I had an interesting talk with my older boys regarding this trip. We were talking about how it's sad to move, but they are excited for the new adventure. I mentioned that it's a new chapter in life. And how sad it is for me to close chapters. And how I identify "chapters" in my life with moves. Physical moves. Elementary and middle school for me was TX, high school was Germany, college was UT, mission was Brazil. Brand new mom was VA. And as we begin to close this chapter, I get sad.
But I pointed out that every single time I'd close a chapter, I felt sad. And that was a good thing. Never have I said, "I am soooo glad that time of my life is OVER!" The boys then asked, "Did you say that about high school?" I said no, that I'd return to my high school years in a heart beat. That I'd return to any chapters of my life in a heart beat. And that was a good sign in my opinion because it meant that so far, I've enjoyed all chapters of my life.
Then the boys said, "well, if someone says they hated high school, it's not their fault!"
And then began my soap box moment. I didn't say each chapter was easy. Definite hard times in every phase of my life, but hard doesn't mean bad. And I said "if you ever say you hated a phase of life, that's not good. Because it's all about the attitude." It was at some of my darkest moments that I truly felt Heavenly Father's tender mercies, and knowing, or being reminded that God loves you and is mindful of you, that's empowering.
Virginia is, for me, the mecca of my soul-sisters. I know for a FACT that before this life, there were a handful of girls that I hung out with, laughed with. And I know we supported each other in the pre life. And I know we made promises to each other to reconnect here on Earth. And we have. And we'll stay connected. We pretty much picked up on Earth where we left off in Heaven. Sounds cheesy but it's true.
OK, I better go. I just re-read this post. It's all over the place!! But guess what, my brain is all over the place, so there. And speaking of all over the place, I need to clean up the family room. It's a mess!!
