My thoughts have been reeling with the adventures of the past couple of months. Angela decided, since it was offered to the 6th graders for the first time ever, to forgo soccer this fall and instead run cross-country.
In all honestly, I had 2 distinct thoughts cross my mind. "You're going to suck at it" and "I'm so glad you're 'mixing' your sports up."
The former: She's a sprinter. I was a sprinter. Super fast. And typically, you're either fast at short distances or fast at long distances. Not both. And I sucked at long distances. So I figured she was going to suck, too.
The later: I think, even if you have a passion for a certain sport, "mixing it up" is about the best thing you can do for your preferred sport. "Cross-training." I loved hearing that the national women's soccer team, for the most part, all participated in a NUMBER of different sports and they totally encouraged it. It was my understanding of "passing the ball" and "getting open for a pass" in basketball that totally prepared me for soccer. Plus, it fuels the hunger for your sport by not burning you out. Not to mention overuse injury.
As a little tid-bit, Abby Wambach, whom I totally idolize in an almost unhealthy way, said that her timing for her diving headers came from playing forward in basketball.
Anyways, I was glad to see that Ange wanted to try another sport and just play soccer in the Spring. Cool by me.
And because I totally sucked at cross-country, I was prepared with an entire novel full of the "silver linings" as why to continue on with cross-country even though you suck that I'd share with Ange.
When I picked her up from practice I braced myself as I asked her "how it went."
"It was cool. Only 3 people can beat me."
"You mean only 3 girls in the 6th grade?"
"No, the entire team."
(The entire team is 6th-8th, boys and girls.)
Of course I interpreted this as: You obviously didn't understand the coach's course instructions and naively cut the course. Or simply, "You obviously didn't finish what you were supposed to run."
But I didn't correct her. I just let her believe that only 3 people could beat her.
I couldn't make her first race and when she came home with her 1st place medal, I kinda scratched my head.
Come to find out, she really is a fast little buggar. If it's a 6th grade only race, she always wins, with quite the gap between herself and 2nd. If it's 6th-8th, she'll come in 4th up to 2nd, depending on which schools are running.
It's so weird for me, someone who totally sucked at cross-country, to see something I birthed run so strongly in a distance competition. It's almost surreal.
The cool thing about Ange is, it doesn't go to her head. And the opposite is true. If she loses a game or is on a losing team, it also doesn't "go to her head." She enjoys sports, no matter how she does. Always. Has.
Which brings me to the real purpose of this post. "What I would have told Ange had she 'sucked' at cross-country."
X-Country really and truly is a beautiful sport. I find myself tearing up as I watch the runners force themselves through the chute, sucking wind, on the verge of puking. I love seeing the kids push themselves to the limit. And I love seeing EVERYONE clapping and cheering them ALL on. From the 1st to the last. It's so emotional for me.
My experience in the sport is drastically different not only from my daughter's, but from any sport I've ever done. I've experienced at least SOME level of success in my sports, from track to basketball, to racquetball to soccer. Cross-country? Complete disappointment, complete failure, even alienation. My high school coach, Rip Wagner, HATED me. And he didn't hide it either. I was the reason he didn't have TWO European Championship teams. (The guys team in my high school won and the girls team could have won as the first 5 girls were all super strong runners, taking the top 5 or 10 spots easily in races. Then in waddled me. 2nd from the end. Ruining all chances of our team every doing anything cool at the championship level.)
Yes, I hated it. But quitting was never an option. Because for some strange reason, I STILL felt some weird sort of satisfaction simply crossing the finish line.
And because of that, cross-country taught me so many life lessons. Because of that, x-country really is a beautiful sport.
Sometimes life really does get so hard. Sometimes the choices you make, especially the RIGHT choices, tend to be some of the HARDEST to follow through. But just because something is hard, or even just because you honestly feel like you're FAILING, doesn't mean you give up. Serving a mission in Brazil was, at the time, one of the hardest things I had ever done. But going home was never even on my radar. I HAD to cross that finish line. When I returned from my mission and found myself, 3 years later, about as single as a rat in a snake pit, the temptation to "give up on finding Mr. Perfect" and simply "settling for whomever wanted me" definitely lurked in the dark corners of my mind. Especially when my mom started referring to me as a "Spinster." But thankfully I didn't give up on myself and eventually DID find my Mr. Perfect.
Being a mother? Not a walk in the park. This stuff is HARD work. At times I sincerely do feel defeated. I have felt like I'm wasting my time. I have even felt, 'maybe being a mom really isn't as important as I'm told.' But then I remind myself that getting down on myself is part of the experience and the other part is holding my head high, shouldering through the doubts and naysayers, ignoring the Rip Wagners, and keeping my eyes on that finish line.
And just because, by comparison, you may THINK you suck at something, really, YOU DON'T. Comparing myself to the other runners on my team, one could easily say, "you suck at running" simply because they "beat" me. But what else went on? I'd have to say, I'm a champion at pacing myself because I didn't die on the course. I'm a champion at ignoring negative comments and simply 'doing my thang' because I didn't let my coach's negative behavior towards me deter me from running. I'm a champion at finding satisfaction in other things besides winning.
These are the things I was prepared to share with Angela had she become frustrated with her xc experience. I never want my kids to quit a sport or to not try out for a sport simply because they "suck" at it. Winning truly is not everything. In my opinion, it's the least of everything. I was having a conversation once and she said, "she quit volleyball because she just couldn't do it well. I don't blame her. Nothing's fun if you can't do it well."
So. Terribly. Not. True.
“Anyone who imagines that bliss is normal is going to waste a lot of time running around shouting that he’s been robbed. The fact is that most putts don’t drop, most beef is tough, most children grow up to just be people, most successful marriages require a high degree of mutual toleration, most jobs are more often dull than otherwise. Life is like an old time rail journey…delays…sidetracks, smoke, dust, cinders and jolts, interspersed only occasionally by beautiful vistas and thrilling burst of speed. The trick is to thank the Lord for letting you have the ride.”
Sometimes life really isn't great. Sometimes it can be down right hard. Many times you may feel completely defeated. Maybe even totally alone. The trick really and truly is, to put your right foot down and kick up that left heel. Doing so, you will move forward and eventually, you will cross that finish line and when you do, and you think back on that course, and you find yourself conqueror of that course, ... then comes the exhilaration, then comes the contentment, then comes the satisfaction and even the boost in self esteem and confidence to move on as a better you.
I am so happy that my daughter found success in her 1st cross-country season. At the same time, I'm confident that even if she wasn't a strong runner, she would still run. She told me, "Whenever I feel like stopping cuz I'm tired, I tell myself, 'Quitters never win and winners never quit', and Mom, I'm NOT a quitter!"
See, x-country really is a beautiful sport!
