I just can't get this out of my head, so I'm gonna write about it.
Our Suburban is about 80 years old and pretty much, falling apart, piece by piece. I'm fine with it. I don't need fancy fance. She runs, that's all I care about. Plus, accident-wise, it'd take out just about any car, so I feel pretty safe. But she is getting old and it shows. Kids hate it. Their friends call it the "Tank." Better than the crap car my parents drove while I was in younger. It was a red VW van. In Germany. It went about 50 mph. My friends called it the put-put mobile. That's way worse than "tank."
And I'm super loyal to this Suburban. She brought us safely from VA to ID, so we're keeping it. We will drive her until she literally craps out. Like, the car my parents drove, they drove that thing til the battery fell out. For reals. My mom said she was driving and all of a sudden, "ker-plunk" then "dragggg" and over to the side of the road she coasted and came to a stop. Yup, the battery had fallen out.
Anyways, like I said, the Suburban is slowly ebbing, but not w/o a fight. From me.
The other day, I could have SWORN that Matt said he had filled the Suburban up with gas. I knew it needed to happen. It was on empty but I find myself so darn busy, that I don't even have time to stop to fill up, so I just drive with a little prayer that I can get to point A to point B w/o running out of gas. Not that I'm being reckless. I just seriously don't have time and think, "I'll fill up later."
Anyways, I was aware that the tank was empty, had the thought to fill it up "next time" and swear I heard Matt tell me he had filled it up.
So when I left to run kids to this place and that, I was shocked slash not shocked to see the needle still on empty. I figured, "great, there goes the gas gauge." And went about my morning.
On my way home, as I was coming down a hill behind campus, I thought, "let me just put a little bit of gas in the car to see if the gauge really is broken." At the bottom of the hill there is an entrance to the gas station that's near my house. I committed to the thought and veered right. And that's when the Suburban shut off. The lights dimmed, the steering wheel froze up. Right when you enter the gas station there are 2 pumps at that entrance with 6 more around the corner, at the front. I cranked the wheel as hard as I could to get the car coasting in the direction of the 2 pumps. And I came to a complete, dead, completely complete, gas-less stop. Right. In. Front. Of. THE GAS PUMP!
I sat there for a few moments, praising God like a full-on Deus e Amor member. Thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you!!!! I kept saying, over and over and over. I got out, put over $100 bucks in the tank (still didn't fill up, but ... $100?!?!?! It just hurt.) and I'm still thanking God for that experience.
I find it super interesting that after that experience, my FB wall totally filled up with all that stuff about gay parents and their kids not being able to be baptized or something like that.
My first thought? I have to admit. Anger. Isn't one super important thing about getting baptized the fact that you get the gift of the Holy Ghost, which helps you make correct choices for the rest of your life? Don't we all need that GIFT? Followed by the thought, "yet kids who want to be baptized with parents who are super against it CAN?" I felt a bit frustrated by the whole thing.
And then I read in Alma today about when Alma and Almuleck were teaching and the lawyers were making life difficult and their new converts were thrown into the fire and Alma and Almuleck suffer days and days of getting smacked in the face, go w/o food, water and clothes, and in the end, they are described as lions walking out from the crumbled prison.
The things I was reminded of when I reflect on the gas station thing and the Alma/Almuleck thing is that God is real. He. Really. Is. And humans are humans. We're the same today as we were centuries ago. I'm sure the lawyers and those who supported the lawyers all had their reasons to attack these men of God. Sure they were blinded, but aren't we all blinded to a degree? Maybe they were blinded by money, pride, peer pressure. That's not at all unfamiliar for us today! Regardless, the lawyers in the Book of Mormon were blinded and were making some pretty evil decisions regarding these 2 men of God. There was a time in this Alma story where Almuleck thought, "Maybe they will also burn us?" I love that line. It shows, to me, his human-ness. He doubted, he was afraid, he didn't have an answer. But Alma comforted him. He knew they wouldn't get burned because they hadn't finished their mission.
The point of my sharing that is although there was obvious confusion, for sure heartbreak, frustration and a desire to make things better (Almuleck wanting to save the new converts from the fire) Alma, the prophet, KNEW what to do.
I am seriously the type of person who needs to know the "whys" to things. I have a rebellious spirit. I get totally turned off by ... stupid people, holy rollers, etc. And to be quite honest, I get a bit "yawny" with all the stuff on FB regarding this "announcement" (both stuff for and against it.)
But because of my experience at the gas station, coupled with reading about Alma and Amuleck, I am reminded, ever so gently, lovingly, and OBVIOUSLY, that God is real. That He is in charge, that He's aware of me. And because of all this, He has given me a prophet TODAY, like Moses, Noah, Isaiah, Nephi, etc. who will guide me. He will say what the Lord wants him to say, not what HE himself wants to say, and I need to remember that. Not many people, at all, boarded the arc. It took the Israelites 40 years to reach their destination. We, humans, tend to forget some pretty important things and act pretty ... humanly. I need to remember this. I need to always remember my vulnerability and stay focused on what I need to focus on. It's silly and tomfoolery to harshly judge the "evil" people in the scriptures. Because really, I am no different. And that's why it's so important to just keep focused on the scriptures, listen to and follow the prophets, and really, really listen to and recognize the Lord's whispers and inspirations.
That said, I know we have living, breathing prophets on Earth today. We need them.
