13 years a mom

If you're going to read my blog, please know that 100% of what I write will be centered around me being a mom, because, thankfully, it's what I am.

Last night I was laying down with Sadie nursing, Riley sleeping on my hip and Owen sleeping on my legs. It really makes me wish boobs would run DOWN the torso like a sow rather than across, like a ... human. And I loved loved loved it! I love being needed and being the main thing that comforts my children. I love it.

I've been doing this now for 13 + years. Thought I'd make a list of some of the things I've learned and would like to pass along to my kids, especially my daughters as they will, if it be God's will, be mothers.

~ Sleep with your babies (fancy terminology "co-sleep") All mammals do it. It's great and I don't regret it AT ALL! Sure I have over extended rotator cuffs now, but worth it.

~ Nurse your babies as long as THEY want and as long as YOU can handle. Please please PLEASE ignore the "experts" and friends and family who may try and tell you about nursing your babies. It's such a PERSONAL thing. Just don't do anything, when it comes to nursing, to "fit in." I do not regret in the least not fitting in with the norm.

~ Don't stress out about getting on a schedule. People would ask when my babies napped and I'd say, "When they got tired." I didn't revolve my life around a "nap schedule" or feeding schedule because it was too hard. I just let my babies dictate the schedule and it worked out just fine.

~ Don't be afraid of cereal for supper

~ Involve kids in sports. For reals. Not just any extra curricular activity, but sports. It's good for the heart, keeps kids in shape, and just leads to lots of great things

~ Don't go to every single freaking church meeting or function or conference or activity or whatever

~ Apologize for when you screw up. And who cares if you think you're "always apologizing." Better to apologize than to be prideful

~ Laugh. A lot.

~ Let them talk to you. My kids are ALWAYS talking to me. I hear, "Mom" about 80 million times a day. Yes, I have actually said, "Do. Not. Talk. TO ME!" but the kids still know they can talk to me about everything. I need to keep this up for when they are teenagers and their conversations actually get interesting.

~ Be honest. My kids will ask, "How'd I play in my game today?" and I'll tell them the honest truth. If they didn't play to their potential, I'd tell them. I'd tell them how to improve. Or if they did play great, I'd tell them they played great. I think it helps them know that when I compliment them, it's for real and when I don't, they know it's for real and I'm not just picking on them or being hard on them.

~ Have hobbies outside of motherhood, but don't let them consume you. Trust me on both.

~ For real, have hobbies.

~ Work out. And I'm not kidding. It's either work out or pop those happy pills. I've had 8 kids, 9 pregnancies, all under 13 years, and my hormones have been pretty good to me. I owe it all to working out. It's good for the inner thighs, love handles, and psyche.

~ Have girlfriends who you chat with, vent with. You don't need but a couple, but it's very therapeutic

~ Let your kids dress how they want, as long as it's not hoochie. Along with that, choose your battles wisely. I want to win the war in the long run, so little battles don't need to be fought or won. Let the kids win most of those. My kids have gone to church dressed as spider man or the Lone Ranger. They've gone to school looking like models for flood water sweatpants. And it's all good. People may think, "Holy crap, what's their mom thinking?" And I say to that, "Wanna cookie?"

~ Don't let your kids have texting. Plain and simple.

~ When your kids clean something you told them to clean; room, car, bathroom, always check their work. ESPECIALLY when they come all excited and jumping up and down, "look how clean it is!" It's so validating for them.

~ Sleep as often as you can

~ Don't beat yourself if you let a curse word or two "slip" out. Gosh, what is it about cuss words that make me feel so good? Guess I'm just sorta evil.

~ Kiss in front of the kids. They say it's gross, but they walk away super secure.

~ Argue in front of the kids. I think it's stupid to not let your kids see you disagree. I'm not saying yell and spit and stab eyeballs out, but it's OK for them to see you mad at each other and along with that, working things out. Kids have to know that conflict is OK, even healthy, because they see communication and that even though you may fight, you can still love each other.

~ My kids will never have their own rooms. Ever. Never. Funny thing is, I can read my kids and they'd hate it. Even though they say they want it.

~ Let them see you cry.

~ Don't make an issue of weight. I do find myself making fun of my fat and even saying things like, "We have matching inner thighs!" I do make fun of my fat body to them, but I ALWAYS remind then that really, I love my body. It's been healthy for me and has given me them! What's not to LOVE?!

OK, I can go on and on and on. And no way am I a professional at this, but it's stuff I've learned and keep learning and I just want to pass things on to my kids. My kids are my life. They're my everything. I remember being interviewed on TV at the mall when I was around 6 or 7 and watching the interview on TV later on and the guy asked me what I wanted to be when I grew up. In my mind I was saying, "vet" but what came out was, "a mom." The reporter wasn't at all impressed and I wondered why I said that when I KNEW I was an animal whisperer. I never liked other peoples babies growing up, couldn't relate to little kids. Just liked boys and sports. But having my children has changed me. When I had my first, second, third, fourth, it dawned on me how blessed they made me, how happy they made me. How can I put a cap on my blessings? I know I'll know when this season of my life is over, but I tell you, I'm loving this season and I hope it goes on for a few more years! :)