Last month I was standing in my kitchen, zoning, staring out the huge window we have and watching 3 birds interact with each other. I love watching nature. One bird was the aggressive one, the other much more submissive, and the 3rd the opportunist. I'm not making this stuff up. They were all trying to eat a large roll that I'm guessing Riley or more like Owen tossed in the midst of some outdoor play.
The more submissive bird would go for the bread, get a nibble, then jump away as the aggressive bird came close. When the aggressive bird would chase the submissive bird away, the opportunist would hop in and grab a bite, then jump back. All 3 birds, regardless of tactic, got about the same amount of bread.
I found myself thinking, "Why doesn't one of them just grab the bread and fly off?" Was the piece too big? Was it taboo? Was it just not in bird nature to take a huge piece? Maybe their tiny beaks were too small to handle such a large object? I wasn't sure.
Out of no where a 4th bird swooped down, grabbed the entire piece, and flew off. Just like that. I watched the 3 birds, reacting to what had just happened by jumping around and chirping, then fly off.
Not to sound too cheesy, but I found myself thinking about bird #4. He seemed to "break protocol" as he had obviously also seen that bread but "did his own thing". He must have sat back, studied his peers, and took matters into his own hands. He didn't join the group, he simply did things his own way. And it totally worked for him.
And maybe I'm totally flirting with General Conference type "application stories", but bird #4 brings me to the point of this post tonight.
Matt just graduated from the PA program here at JMU. When we moved to VA, 10 years ago, the idea was to get his PhD from UVA, find a research position, and teach microbiology. We had 3 kids at the time and lived in a 1600 sq foot home, which we bought.
People thought we were crazy to buy a home, even family members. People thought we were crazier still to have a 4th, then 5th, then a 6th baby while still in school. "How do you afford it? I guess they won't be playing sports? How do you fit everyone in that tiny house?"
After he graduated and started working, Matt came home one evening and said, "JMU has a PA program. I want to go back to school." And so with 6 kids and a 7th on the way, we made a "career" change and went back to school. We both felt very good about it. I remember the day Matt told me and I had an immediate "content" and "hopeful" feeling come over me. It was the right thing to do. Of course, many thought we were ... crazy. Matt was mid-30s, father of 6. You just don't start over!
Miracle after miracle happened. We found a house we could buy that better accommodated our family, an awesome tenant for our current house, Matt was accepted into the program, and both of our parents found themselves in financial situations to help support us.
Being supported by parents, as a parent yourself, is very humbling. To say the least. We couldn't have done it without their help. We couldn't have.
Matt entered the program and did great. The month we had child #8 he began his rotations, and the same week she turned 1, Matt graduated from the PA program, looking forward to a job in ID that will better support our family than if he just stayed as a research scientist. Our financial future is now more secure, more promising, than if he stayed on the path he originally started out on.
For the most part, people would shake their heads at our decision making skills. Or scratch their heads. You don't buy houses when you're a student. You don't go back to school after getting a job. And you especially don't have 8 kids while doing all this.
I walk away from this experience with a strengthened testimony of "personal revelation." When an individual or a couple come together and include the Lord in their decision making, it's going to be the right decision. Not the EASIEST decision, or the decision that makes the most sense, but definitely the RIGHT decision.
I am so incredibly grateful to my dad. He grew up Lutheran, in an upscale neighborhood. He married a poor Filipina girl and joined the Mormon church. His parents did not understand his choices. But my dad has and always has had a very close relationship with Heavenly Father and he let Heavenly Father guide him, regardless of the naysayers and head shakers. He moved his family to Germany my sophomore year in high school. Looking back, my dad has never taken the easy road, the "expected" road. And we have been so blessed. As an adult, I can see how blessed I am to have been raised by parents who take risks, who go against the grain, because it comes as second nature to me to do the same.
But my dad has ALWAYS sought the Lord in his decisions. And those decisions always end up being the right ones. And just because I have felt guided, I'd be lying if I say I don't stress out. I have aged a bit due to stress these past 2 years, but that's where I know I am flawed. I might have the courage to take those steps into the darkness, but it is with anxious heart, and even doubting mind. I think the Lord is OK with that though. He's not expecting me to be perfect.
And these best part of this? My kids totally play sports! :)
Amen.
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