Sick of the crap

I just read this article asking people to sign a petition meant for the president of BYU, stating that BYU needed to grant religious freedom to members who left the church.  I'm not sure of all the facts behind this petition, but it stirred some serious emotions in me as I read it.

I'm just sick of the crap.

At 41, I can better sympathize with members who go inactive.  I can better sympathize with Laman and Lemuel.  I can better sympathize with those leaders and members who left the church when it was first being RESTORED in the latter days.  I can better sympathize with those members who, in the Book of Mormon times, were angry and left the church.  I really can.  I have personally been struggling with and having lots of questions regarding the church.  I really have.  And my all time favorite friends are, or rather my "bffs" tend to be ladies in the church who are not afraid of admitting that they too, have questions and struggle with some things.

What we also have in common is a core testimony that our world needs and HAS a prophet.  A man who talks with God, just like Moses, Abraham, Noah, Elijah, Samuel, Eli, Joseph (coat of many colors), Peter, etc.  Men who did not aspire to be prophets, but were called by God, to be prophets.  To talk with Him and share what He wants the rest of the people to know.

Most prophets in the Bible were rejected, ignored or made fun of by the people.  How many jumped in the boat that Noah made?  What ended up happening to Peter?  Why did it take Moses 40 years to reach the land the Lord had chosen for the Israelites? 

Joseph Smith was ALSO called by God to be a prophet.  His treatment by the people was no different than previous prophets.  Some loved him, some hated him, and some even killed him. 

And this is when the rubber hits the road for me.  I do have my questions, I do have my complaints, I do have my "issues", but I'm not going to "knock down my stone wall" because of them.  The stone wall referring to testimony of the Gospel.  Every stone wall ever built is different.  Every testimony is different.  We each are building our own stone walls.  Some stones may not properly fit for the time being, so I just put it down and find others that do fit to build my wall.  Eventually I will find where that "confusing" stone goes.  But just because I have 1, 2, maybe even 10 or 20 stones that don't "fit" right now, doesn't mean I knock my wall down. 

Bottom line is, the Gospel of Jesus Christ is true.  We do have a prophet to lead us.  He speaks with God and then shares those words with us.  That's the church in a nutshell for me.  The knowledge that just like prophets in the Old Testament, in the New Testament, and Book of Mormon, we have modern day prophets that lead and guide us.  It's a LUCKY thing!

I'm so sick and tired of people leaving the church and then bashing it.  I guess it's bound to happen.  It happened in ancient days.  Heck, Christ was eventually crucified.  Many times I can totally sympathize with how a person "began" the slippery slope of inactivity.  And then I can see so clearly how satan traps them.  I have to admit, that is why I get so scared for myself because I can see how easily it could happen to me.  I pray every day, well, more like talk in my head every second of the day, to Heavenly Father, because I don't want to become blinded by satan.  I love Heavenly Father, I love Jesus Christ, and I have been blessed with a testimony that the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints is Christ's church, RESTORED in these latter days. 

Nothing made me madder when my MIL told my husband that she questioned my commitment to the Gospel.  It's that kind of crap  that I hate about members of the church.  But that's the thing, MEMBERS can be idiots, they can be bigots,  they can hypocrites, they can be judgmental double standard ass holes, but it doesn't change the fact Joseph Smith saw Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ.  It doesn't change the fact that ancient prophets in the Americas kept records of their conversations with Jesus and their dealings with their people.  It doesn't change the fact that the ancient prophet Moroni took those records, buried them in the ground, and then, centuries later, appeared to Joseph Smith, and showed him where he buried those records.  It doesn't change the fact that Joseph Smith translated those records from Ancient Egyptian to English so we could read them.  It doesn't change the fact that today, Thomas S. Monson is our prophet.

So no, I'm not going to sign that stupid petition.  No, I'm not going to jump on the "women should have the priesthood" bandwagon.  The prophet hasn't given the green light on these things. 

I will however embrace my identity and embrace my free agency.  I'll dress modestly (MY DEFINITION) I'll keep the Word of Wisdom (MY DEFINITION) I'll keep the Sabbath Day (MY DEFINITION) I'll be a member missionary (MY DEFINITION) I'll stand for truth and righteousness (MY DEFINITION) 

The Gospel is actually very simple, very liberating.  I hope and pray my children grow to understand this.  And stay firm in the Gospel of Jesus Christ.