Holding and holding and holding

Wow, today was such a loooonng day! McSmiley seemed to think that the best thing on the agenda today as to be held. Literally, all. Day. Long.

And I did. I don't have a problem with holding a baby. I mean, I got nothing done, and it got a bit frustrating when I'd try and put him down cuz he fell asleep nursing, only to have him blast his eyes opened and cry at me, but BESIDES this, I don't really care.

I'm super anti the argument that "babies manipulate their mothers." Honestly, that's a load of crap. Teenagers manipulate, even spouses manipulate, but babies and in my opinion even young children, do not manipulate.

Not to sound combative, but if you think babies manipulate, I think it's just the wrong attitude. I mean, when I'm cold, I want a blanket. When I'm hungry, I want food. When I'm thirsty, I want water. When a baby feels alone or a desire to be comforted, he wants arms cradling him. He wants to feel the warmth that only a mother can provide. He wants to sense her beating heart.

It's not manipulation. It's validation.

Someone once told me, while witnessing my "validating" my baby, "ummm, you're supposed to be the one in control. Not the baby."

I did practice control: my temper, my tongue, and my middle finger. But I did not change what I was doing. Babies simply do not "control" their environment, but rather they "sense" their environment. And in my professional opinion as a mom of 11 years, the best thing a mom can do for her baby is let them know that they are in a loving, responsive environment.

Right now my house doesn't need to sparkle and really, my husband doesn't need to come home to dinner on the table. Right now what DOES need to take place is that my babies have a sane mother and are they themselves confident in their new surrounding.

Don't get me wrong. I did have to put him down and take a break, and yes, he cried his eyes out. But then he was picked up and I turned my back on my dirty house and just held him.

Laura came over to a very dirty house. She's the definition of "perfect friend." I have a strong 6th sense and guess what? I didn't sense for a second that she judged my dirty house. Instead she held Riley while we chatted and I washed dishes. Friends like her are next to impossible to find. Lucky for me, I have a handful right here.

Anyways, the kids came home, they held Riley and helped pick up the house, and by the time Matt came home, he was pleasantly surprised at how clean the house actually was.

"I thought you had a hard day? That you couldn't get anything done cuz of Riley? The house looks great!"

I told him, "it's the kids. They cleaned and held Riley so I could get some stuff done."

The thing is, I believe in spoiling babies, but once they're old enough to, I believe in producing my own army of Merry Maids.

So at the end of the day, everything ended well. Riley got what he wanted, Matt got what he wanted, the kids felt good for doing jobs well done, and I ... hmmmmm, well, what DOES a mom get???